How a Gifted Childhood Prepared Me for Gifted Parenting

I'm a fan of Building Wing Span and in January she posted a blog post entitled "Being Gifted in no way prepares you for Parenting Gifted kids." I was quite surprised by this because I had found the exact opposite to be true for me. Now, re-reading the post it seems that the author was maybe having a bad day. Plus, she has more kids than I do, and her kids have extra gifted attributes that mine do not have. This post is not intended to be a slam on the author. Merely, that post inspired this post.

I admit: I was a weird kid. Even if I hadn't dealt with issues that young kids shouldn't have to, I still would have been a weird kid. I also wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. One of the things I would do as a child would watch my grandmother or other parents I came across in life. I would see things that they did that I or other kids responded to well, and filed those away. I would also look at things that did not work (using fractions to extend the time a kid has when you're counting to a number to get them to do something? Please; no kid respects that.) and decided that I would never do those things. (Tempered, of course, by later teen and adult reading about childhood development.)

I also have quite a lot of memories from my childhood and teenager-hood that I have analyzed. Those years still feel very recent, and those memories are still fresh. Looking back, I have been able to learn a lot from them for what I want for my own children. Especially as I see so much of myself in them at times. 

Being a weird child, I never fit in well with my same age peers. My best friend for the first part of my childhood was almost two years older than me (thank you, Kim, for accepting me even though I was younger!) I found myself drawn to adults for conversation and and social interaction. Sadly, most adults I encountered were not interested in being engaged by a child. Those rare adults that I encountered that did, I treasured. The lady who listened to my interest in becoming a horticulturist and developing a green rose (in elementary school) that showed me a collage level biology text and introduced me to the fun things I later found out were called "Punnett Squares." I remember you, Ma'am. The great uncle who let me enthusiastically show him my small coin collection, and then sent me some "Japanese Invasion Money" and told me the stories of his travels. Those encounters were treasures in my childhood. And because of that, now that I am an adult I strive to be that for every child I encounter who seems like they need that. Not every child does. But there are some who need to be listened to and treated seriously by an adult. I encourage everyone who reads this that when they find those children, those young people, to give them your full attention and some of your time. Because it is a gift to them that they will treasure all of their life.

I lived most of my life with my grandparents. My father's parents for ages 5-12 and then 14-18, and my mother's parents from 12-14. They did their best, and I am grateful for what they did. But they were not prepared to deal with gifted intensities and overexcitabilities. And questions. I don't know if I really asked that many questions, but boy did I get the impression from my grandmother that my burning questions were a complete nuisance and bother to her. Granted, this was in the days before Google. And I suppose it might have been embarrassing for her not to know the answers. But the attitude I perceived in her eventually made me shut down and stop asking. I didn't stop wanting to know. But neither was I taught how to find the answers to my questions. It was an extremely frustrating time for me. Coupled with going through puberty and some other factors and it was also one of my darkest times. Having my own children now, I am delighted when they come up with a question I don't know the answer to. We search and find out together. We follow rabbit trails, watch other suggested YouTube videos, we explore, and we learn. And even if the question is asked at an inconvenient time or has to be put off for a while, I try to never make them feel like they were wrong to ask. That their question is unwanted. If Early Bird wants me to "ask Google Translate" what the Spanish word for "room" is, then we do it. If Builder Boy wants to talk about and figure out how to make domino contraptions by watching videos, we do it. It may not always be the most interesting thing in the world to me, but it is for them; and I hope I never make them feel like such a bother for asking that they stop asking me.

In 4th grade at my elementary school, students were allowed to join band. The great thing about it was they took beginners who had never played before and taught them. Looking back, I'm really unclear how that was feasible. I just know that's how it worked. I wanted to play flute. I REALLY wanted to play flute. I told my grandmother I wanted to play flute. I got a clarinet. Because "everyone else" plays flutes and I should do something different. And my great aunt was able to hand me down a clarinet. So I played the clarinet. And I would look at the flutists longingly, but never said another word about it. Until I moved in the middle of 6th grade to live with my mother's parents. At that school, band did not start until 6th grade, but everyone was required to play. So I was stuck in a classroom filled with beginners who didn't even want to be there. A room full of clarinets and only one flute player. I was able to rent a flute from the school district and taught myself to play and caught up with the class in time to play in the end of year concert. I loved it and as long as I was playing flute, I didn't touch the clarinet. But the school year ended, the flute went away. I moved on to a private school, now out of practice with my clarinet, and haven't played either instrument since. My clarinet was given away to another cousin by my great aunt who was annoyed that I was no longer using it. I shared that to say: please respect your child's passion choices. Don't substitute. This was not the only time a passion I had was taken away and was given something else and expected to just accept that. I'm not trying to say you should give your child everything they want. Most people can't afford that, and if you're open about that it would help a lot. But don't give them something else and expect them to be excited about it. Like ending figure skating lessons and expecting a bicycle to be an adequate replacement. (Okay, clearly I'm still a bit bitter about that one. The reason I was given was that they didn't like taking the time to take me to my once a week lesson.)

I think one of the most frustrating things for me growing up was that the strong emotions and frustrations I dealt with felt dismissed and ignored by my grandparents. Which just made me even more frustrated. I had an incident recently with Early Bird when I was impatient and frustrated myself and demanded a quick, yes or no answer. He didn't say anything so I made a decision. He was very upset because he was still thinking about it and hadn't gotten to reply yet (even though he eventually decided to go with the option I had chosen.) I'll never forget the picture of him, tears streaming down his face, saying "you didn't understand me!" Man that hit home. I scooped him up in my arms and I told him that I was very sorry for not understanding. I did explain that I could not read his mind and see that he had been thinking, and that him asking for a minute to think next time would be helpful. But I completely did understand that frustration and I validated it. Even though my children's emotions are sometimes fleeting, or illogical, or situationally inappropriate, those feelings are very much real and important to them at the time they are feeling them. And while those emotions might fade, they are going to remember how I treated those feelings, and how my treatment of them made them feel. A few months ago I read an article (wish I could find it again!) written to therapists/counselors on how to work with gifted patients and their overexcitabilities. One of their pieces of advice was to validate their patient's feelings; even/especially the emotional overexcitability ones. I didn't get that for myself; I am trying most definitely to do that for my children.

I consider the feelings and thoughts I had as a child to be valid and something I can learn from. I consider my children's feelings and thoughts to be valid. That viewpoint and those memories have helped me empathize with my children and, I think, have diffused some situations faster than they might have had I not empathized.

I love hearing about other people's childhood experiences and thinking about how I can learn from them. (I was a weird child; I guess I never grew out of being weird.) If you would like to share what you've learned from your own childhood, I would love to hear it! Please feel free to comment.

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This is my contribution for the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2014. I had a wonderful time reading the contributions last year and the year before, and I'm looking forward to this year's.

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2014!

Welcome to the 2014 Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour!
Parenting a gifted child can sometimes be as challenging as it is rewarding. That’s why for the third year in row, parents from The Well Trained Mind Message boards have created a blog tour to share wisdom, joy, tribulations and advice.
Starting Sunday, June 22nd the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour will discuss some of the most pertinent issues facing gifted education today:
On June 22nd Sceleratus Classical Academy will kick off our tour with “How a Gifted Childhood Prepared Me for Gifted Parenting”.
On June 23d At Home in the North Woods will share “Great Expectations, four ideas for dealing with perfectionism.”
On June 24th Homeschooling: or Who’s Ever Home will write about “Following the Passions of the Gifted Child.”
On June 25th Teaching My Baby to Read will feature a guest post.
On June 26th Homeschooling Hatters will discuss “Twice Exceptionality, when just one exception isn’t enough!”
On June 27th Teaching My Baby to Read will write about “Intensity Fades but doesn’t Forget.”
A difficult thing to understand about children with high IQs is that just because they are gifted, it doesn’t mean they are easy to teach or parent. In fact, often times the opposite is true.

This blog tour is written by people who understand what you’re going through. We are sending encouragement your way! So the next time you wake up at 3 AM worrying about your child, at least you’ll know that you aren’t alone.
Thanks for being with us on this journey!

When A Flower Blooms

When A Flower Blooms

By Winter Jorgenson

My hands were full of dishes and soap when I turned to see her crawling towards me grinning from ear to ear.  I reached for the camera, precariously held it while I looked through the view finder and, in horror, watched as it slipped from my hand, fell and bounced on the floor.  I didn’t pause.  I didn’t put the dishes down or wipe my slick hands because my beautiful baby was still crawling towards me.   I picked the camera up, snapped the picture and dropped it a second time.  This time it broke.  In the aftermath, I grieved not for the camera but for all the moments that would be lost from memory because I could not possibly record them all.  I wanted to celebrate each moment over and over again.

In those early days of motherhood, I openly shared and celebrated my child and all her milestones.  Unfortunately, snarky comments quieted my sharing.  An acquaintance asked “Did she really say that?” when I shared about a precocious witty comment my little girl made.  Another time a parent snapped at me, “Have you had her tested yet?  She could have Aspergers.”  With the exception of a small group of family and friends, I do not discuss my everyday experiences with many people anymore.  The omission seems dishonest and I believe my children, all children, deserve better from their parents and community.

I believe all children deserve be celebrated.

We celebrate to give thanks, to show support, to welcome someone home or into the family, to show someone that they are valued and loved, to build community, to uphold a tradition, to acknowledge effort or an accomplishment.  Our celebrations can range from extravagant events, to simple words, to quietly inhaling the moment.  When we celebrate a child, we tell him that we are thankful for him, that he is welcomed in the community, that he is valued.  Likewise, when we only celebrate some children and refuse to celebrate others, we are saying that “only some children are welcomed here, only some children are valued, only some children deserve community support.”

It is easy to preach “celebrate every child” but it is difficult to practice, even within a loving family.  When my eldest started reading, I took her to the local coffee shop and we celebrated with a mommy/daughter date.  I waited to tell people outside of our small circle of friends until I was certain other children were reading.  I did not mention that my two year old son had started reading before my four year old.  I did not celebrate his milestone.  Instead, I hid it from everyone including his sister because I feared his intuitive grasp of how to read would undermine her accomplishment.  In doing so, I missed an opportunity to support him for the child he is and to teach him not to hide his abilities.  I also missed an opportunity to teach my daughter to be gracious about others’ accomplishments and that her worth is not dependent upon comparisons or being first.

I missed something else as well.  I remember the reading coffee date with my daughter.  She remembers it.  We have pictures of the event that we can look at fondly for years and years.  In contrast, my memory of my son’s first reading is blurry and loaded with mixed emotions.  If I had chosen to celebrate, then we would have a fond memory for him as well.  Growing up is hard.  Parenting is hard.  It is easy to remember the timeouts and the tantrums because those raw moments demand our full attention and push our limits.  It is more difficult to remember quieter times, small moments of growth and subtle changes.  If we stop to celebrate them, we create maps of positive memories to look back on, maps that will define our time together when we are all older.

I have an iPhone now that I have dropped many times trying to photograph a moment with my children.  Thankfully, the phone seems unbreakable.  Out the window, I can see the kids smelling flowers through slanted sunlight.  It’s a sight worth remembering.  From spring until fall, different plants will flower and the kids will press their noses into them all not caring if a flower is an early or late bloomer.  They do this because that is what you do when a flower blooms.  You take a moment and celebrate.

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013: Day 7

Today is the last day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013!

Check out the contributions at Homeschooling Hatters about “Just Let Him Be a Kid,” and the last post is a guest post here at Sceleratus Classical Academy titled “When a Flower Blooms.”

I hope you enjoyed the blog tour this year! If you're interested in contributing next year, keep an eye out for an announcement next May in the Accelerated Learner's Board at the Well Trained Mind Forum, or contact Jennifer Bardsley at Teaching My Baby to Read.

Special thanks to Susan Wise Bauer, author of The Well Trained Mind and sponsor of the Well Trained Mind Forum.

 

Special thanks also to Jennifer Bardsley at Teaching My Baby to Read for coming up with the idea of and arranging the blog tour for two years in a row now!

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013: Day 6

Today is the sixth day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013!

Check out the contributions at Northwood Classical Academy about “The Making of a Mathlete.”

There's still one day left of the blog tour!

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013: Day 5

Today is the fifth day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013!

Check out the contributions at Strader Spiel  about “Homeschooling a Gifted Child with Special Needs,” and at The Washington Collation of Gifted Education  about “I’m an Advocate and So Are You.”

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013: Day 4

Today is the fourth day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013!

Check out the contribution at Homeschooling: or Who’s Ever Home about “Nurturing Musical Talent in the Gifted Child.”

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013: Day 3

Today is the third day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013!

Check out the contribution at Teaching My Baby to Read about “Harry Potter, Muggles, Mudbloods, and Giftedness in Family Trees.”

This blog tour will be going on for five more days so check it out!

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013: Day 2

Today is the second day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013!

Check out the contributions at Only Passionate Curiosity about “Maturity vs. Ability; It’s a Big Deal,” and at Childhood Inspired about “Nurturing Other Aspects of Giftedness Besides Academics”.

This blog tour will be going on for a week so check it out!

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

All parents at some time, at least once, have quietly compared their child to another. Whether it's a baby "milestone" chart or another kid in the park or our best friend's child who's the same age as ours, it happens. In some cases it can even be a good thing. Milestone charts can give us a good idea of what we should be working on with our kids. Kids at the park can give us an idea of if our child is learning the proper societal norms and behaviors. Our best friend's kid can sometimes give us a clue if something is "wrong" with ours. But comparisons can also lead to a lot of problems for parents. And I think it's even worse for parents of gifted children.

I'm not talking about other people comparing their children to recognized gifted kids. I think we all are aware of the disaster that is. I'm talking about how impossible it is for parents of gifted children to compare them to anyone else. After all, depending on your definition of gifted, that's really only 5% of the population-or less. Given the wide differences in abilities between Gifted, Highly Gifted, Phenomenally Gifted, etc. You'd have to reduce it down even further. And what about the Twice Exceptional kids or the ones with a learning disability or those on the Autism or Asperger's spectrum? What about the kids who are gifted in one subject more than another? Or interested in something completely unthought of? What age are you going to compare your gifted kid to? Gifted kids his own age, average kids of an older age? When it comes to atypical, un-average kids, there really isn't anyone enough like your child to compare to. Which can be scary because that means there's no scale or measure to determine if you're doing a good enough job parenting (and especially homeschooling) your child. We have to figure that out all on our own, and individually for each child if you have more than one gifted child.

When you look at the it that way, it may seem obvious. But if you're the parent of a young, early learner, it's not so obvious at first. And I'm speaking from personal experience. I admit, I did a lot of comparing my oldest with other kids. Especially my best friend's daughter, who was four months older than my son. Baby milestones, when did they first crawl, walk, talk, talk clearly; I was completely guilty of it. And it didn't help that I was comparing a baby boy to a baby girl, even knowing that baby boys and girls develop much differently. But I was an insecure parent (aren't we all a little bit at one time or another?) and I didn't have any other experience to base whether or not I was doing a good enough job parenting my child. The fact that my little boy was not nearly as verbal as her little girl did not help.

When Early Bird came around I was then comparing his milestones to his brother's, adjusted for gestational age for the first two years since he was born premature. But when he started reading six weeks before he turned 3, I gave up on comparing him to what his older brother's records were. When two months later he was reading at the same level as his 5 year old brother, I started trying to compare Early Bird with where his brother was then. That didn't work out so well either. Because there is a lot more to development than reading, and treating a 3 year old like a 5 year old, even if he is advanced in several areas, is not the best move. I ended up frustrated at times because I was forgetting that 3 year olds act like 3 year olds sometimes; and sometimes like 2 year olds. Eventually I gave up/broke the habit of trying to figure out where this child "should be" developmentally and just tried to meet him where he was. I'm not sure how well I've done with that because he's 4 years old now and I'm still struggling to figure out where he "should be." Am I missing gaps in his education? Am I babying him too much emotionally? Am I challenging him enough? I have no idea, no standard, no guide. He's happy; I know that much at least.

This lesson took more time for my husband to learn though. Even with Early Bird doing things way before other kids his age, he still wanted to make sure we weren't forgetting anything. And he was looking for a guide for that, something to measure Early Bird's progress against. My "ah ha!" moment came when I told my husband "there isn't anyone to compare him to!"

Since our discovery last year that Early Bird is an early learner, I've had the opportunity (thanks to the Accelerated Learner Board at Well Trained Mind) to come across other parents who are making the same discoveries about their children that I was. When they ask what my #1 piece of advice is, (after Calm Down and Breathe) it is that comparisons are useless and will make your life miserable.

I am currently pregnant with my third child. I'm going to have a chance to really put what I've said into practice. There will be temptations; I'll have two other babyhoods to compare hers to, and my sister just had a baby girl a month ago, so we'll have two baby girls just 3 months apart. Whether she turns out to be gifted, average, or challenged, I hope I have learned well enough what Early Bird has taught me: to just enjoy my child for who they are, to work with them at their speed, and to not worry about what everyone else's kids are doing.

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This is my contribution for the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013. I'll post links to the next blog posts on the tour on their days, or you can click here for the original announcement and links to the participating blogs. I had a wonderful time reading the contributions last year, and I'm looking forward to this year's.

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013 Announcement

Sceleratus Classical Academy is very excited to be participating in the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2013 from June 14th-21st. 

This international blog tour is organized by parents who met on The Well Trained Mind Message boards.

We come from different parts of the world, different school choices, and different social and economic backgrounds, but we all have one thing in common. We know that parenting a gifted child can sometimes be as challenging as it is rewarding.

If you have ever woken up at 3 AM in the morning wondering “What am I going to do with this child?” then this blog tour is for you!

From June 14th-21st the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour will discuss some of the most pertinent issues facing gifted education today:

On June 14th Sceleratus Classical Academy will kick off our tour with “Comparison is the Thief of Joy.”
On June 15th Only Passionate Curiosity will share “Maturity vs. Ability; It’s a Big Deal”.  Childhood Inspired will write about “Nurturing Other Aspects of Giftedness Besides Academics”.
On June 16th Teaching My Baby to Read will feature “Harry Potter, Muggles, Mudbloods, and Giftedness in Family Trees”.
On June 17th Homeschooling: or Who’s Ever Home will write about “Nurturing Musical Talent in the Gifted Child”.
On June 18th Strader Spiel  will discuss “Homeschooling a Gifted Child with Special Needs” and The Washington Collation of Gifted Education will share “I’m an Advocate and So Are You”.
On June 19th Northwood Classical Academy will write about “The Making of a Mathlete”.
On June 20th Homeschooling Hatters will share “Just Let Him Be a Kid”, and Sceleratus Classical Academy will end our tour with a guest post titled “When a Flower Blooms”.

There is still room for more contributions, so please email teachingmybabytoread at gmail dot com if you are interested in joining the tour!

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour: Day 7

Today is the last day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour! Check out the guest posts at Teaching My Baby to Read and the contribution at Dancing with Dragons about "Teaching the Visual Spatial Learner: When Your Child Thinks in Pictures".

I've had a wonderful time learning from all the blogs!

(My contribution from day 2 is here.)

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour: Day 6

Today is the sixth day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour! Check out the contributions at  Making Music With Kids about "Finding a Good Fit for a Preschooler You Suspect is Gifted" and at Barely Educational about "Worrying Too Much and Overanalyzing Parenting."


(My contribution from day two is here.)

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour: Day 5

Today is the fifth day of the  Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour! Check out the contributions at A Tree House Education about "2E Issues" and Homeschool in Florida about "Get Out of Your Own Way: How to Listen to the Needs of Your Gifted Child".


(My contribution from day two is here.)

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour: Day 4

Today is the fourth day of the  Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour! Check out the contributions at Homeschooling: Or Who's Ever Even Home about "A Broader Definition of Success for Gifted Children".

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour: Day 3

Today is the third day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour! Check out the contributions at Teaching My Baby to Read about “When School Isn't Enough; Fanning the Flames of Learning Afterschool”.

Don't Panic! Musings about realizing that your child's learning is ahead of schedule.

Before Early Bird I would have told you that I was flexible; that I could adapt to whatever happened. I love making lists and schedules, but I don't always stick to them, and I can throw them out and start again if I need to. I really love knowing what to expect. I love those milestone lists and charts for kids. I bought a book with some in them before I was even married! (It was on sale and I put it in my hope chest.) When I had Builder Boy I studied those lists and charts and knew what was developmentally appropriate and worked on those things. He never disappointed me and kept to the schedule.
 
Then Early Bird came along and six weeks before his 3rd birthday he started reading. On his own. In one week he went from reading "bed" and "red" to over 40 consonant-vowel-consonant words. Two and a half weeks later he could read any CVC word presented to him, was working on consonant blends, and had several "sight" words memorized as well.

I started panicking. I wasn't ready yet to teach him. I knew what I was going to do with Builder Boy; I had a plan. But I didn't have a plan for Early Bird; I wasn't emotionally prepared to have an early learner. I found myself thinking over and over, "What am I going to do with him?" I could not think of anything else. I could make no plan; my confidence was gone. I started "borrowing guilt," as my father-in-law put it. I was worried about ruining this, of teaching him wrong, of pushing too much, of holding him back, of killing his joy in learning. I worried that he would become frustrated with a lack of knowledge and stop wanting to learn. I worried that he would just memorize words and be a fast sight reader but a terrible speller (like I am.) I didn't know if I should work with him to make sure he learned his phonics, but risk taking the joy out of learning for him, or if I should leave him to his own devices and risk him learning things wrong or getting frustrated and give up. He asked over and over to "do words," begging to start and pleading not to stop way past the time I felt used up. I was afraid to stop before he was ready, afraid of saying "no more!'' and possibly discouraging him.

I reached out to people in my life, looking for help. I asked for prayers for God's guidance and for peace of mind. But the people I asked could not understand why I was freaking out about something that they saw as being so good. I process things better when I can talk to someone; bounce off ideas and get advice that I would never think of. But no one in my life could help me. So I gathered my courage and started a thread on the Accelerated Learners board where I had been lurking, asking for help. And I got it. I got to hear from people who had dealt with the same emotions that I had. I learned that, yes, it is possible Early Bird would become a sight reader and a horrible speller and that other parents had dealt with it and I could, too. I learned that there was a possibility that he might give up and stop for a while but that that didn't mean he'll never learn again. And most of all I recognized my dependence on needing a plan, needing to know what to expect and what was going to happen. I learned that I needed to accept that I was not going to be able to control this and that I needed to let go of some things. It helped a lot and as I "talked" with people on the board my panic receded. I still have moments of "what do I do now?" But I am taking everything in stride now. I'm not making plans, I'm just doing what he wants to do (which is still a lot.)

A lot of the advice I received had a lot in common, so I have condensed what I learned from others into:

5 Steps for When You're Panicking:

Step 1) Breathe. This may or may not work for you. If you are holding your breath or forgetting to breathe then this is a very good idea. If you are like me breathing more means hyperventilating. But whether you need to breathe more or less, the main point is to take a moment (or lots of moments) to calm down, if you can.

Step 2) Pray. If you don't believe in God or personal prayer skip to step 3. For those of you who do pray remember that God gives us only what we can handle with His strength. Remember that God answers our prayers on His time, not ours. Remember that God doesn't always give us the answer we want, but the answer that is the best for us. Find someone else to pray for you. I would suggest keeping this to one or two people, and to someone who will understand why you're stressed.

Step 3) Find people who have gone through what you're going through. This helped me tremendously. I didn't get to the point where I felt like I could do this until I got feedback from parents who had been there, done that with early learners. I learned that, yes, my worries about things going wrong could happen but others have dealt with those issues, too. I learned that really good things could happen, too, and I had to make sure I wasn't blocking those things from happening. And I learned that I am not alone.

Step 4) Learn to let go of control and expectations. This step takes time; sometimes a lot of time. I think it took me at least a month, maybe more. It means changing a habit of thinking, a way of looking at things. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't have goals; it does means that you don't stress about the time-frame. This is done best with help from someone who knows you very well.

Step 5) Remember to play and have fun. When I received this advice I thought "well, duh! You don't need to tell me that." He was having a blast playing with letters and words and I wasn't forcing it on him. I remembered to play with other things, too. But in looking at what he was doing and where he was going I overlooked gaps. Sure, he's ready for some 1st grade material, but what about the pre-school skills like coloring, drawing, scissor skills? What about music, which he loves, but we don't do enough of? It took me 4 months to realize that there were gaps, but now that I know I am I have created a "pre-school" just for him so we can work on those things together and I can learn about other gaps that I hadn't anticipated.



I hope someday, when I have more experience, I will be able to help others the way that the wonderful parents over at the Well Trained Mind forum helped (and continue to help) me.

Thanks, you guys.

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour: Day 1

Today is the first day of the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour! Check out the contributions at Childhood Inspired about "Loneliness as a Gifted Parent," and at Our Roxaboxen Adventures about "Identifying Gifted Minority Students."

This blog tour will be going on all week so check it out!

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2012

 Sceleratus Classical Academy is very excited to be participating in the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2012 from July 15-21st. This blog tour is organized by parents who met on The Well Trained Mind Message boards and who would like to help celebrate SENG's National Parenting Gifted Children Week 2012.

This blog tour is not officially associated with The Well Trained Mind or SENG, but we are parents with experience and insights to share. We come from different parts of the country, different school choices, and different social and economic backgrounds, but we all have one thing in common. We know that parenting a gifted child can sometimes be as challenging as it is rewarding. If you have ever woken up at 3 AM in the morning wondering "What am I going to do with this child?" then this blog tour is for you! From July 15-21 the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour will discuss some of the most pertinent issues facing gifted education today:

On July 15th Childhood Inspired will write about "Loneliness as a Gifted Parent". Our Roxaboxen Adventures will discuss "Identifying Gifted Minority Students".

On July 16th Sceleratus Classical Academy will share "Don't Panic! Musings about realizing that your child's learning pattern is ahead of schedule."

On July 17th Teaching My Baby to Read will feature “When School Isn't Enough; Fanning the Flames of Learning Afterschool”.

On July 18th Homeschooling: or Who’s Ever Home will write about "A Broader Definition of Success for Gifted Children".

On July 19th A Tree House Education will feature "2E Issues". Homeschool in Florida will share "Get Out of Your Own Way: How to Listen to the Needs of Your Gifted Child".

On July 20th Making Music With Kids will discuss "Finding a Good Fit for a Preschooler You Suspect is Gifted". Barely Educational will offer "Worrying Too Much and Overanalyzing Parenting"

On July 21st Teaching My Baby to Read will feature guest posts. Dancing with Dragons will write about "Teaching the Visual Spatial Learner: When Your Child Thinks in Pictures".

Come back to this blog on July 16th for my post about panicking over the unexpected and unplanned and how I dealt with it.