Architecture School: Day 1

Last summer we did Space School; or at least tried to until my pregnancy with Lady Bug got to be too much and we had to stop. I asked the boys if they wanted to finish it this year and sadly their enthusiasm had waned. So this summer it's Architecture School!

We call him "Builder Boy'' for a reason!

Builder Boy has been talking about becoming a builder for almost four years now. So this summer I decided was a good time to start building the basic skills and knowledge to further that aim. I have been very intentional to tell him multiple times that if he ever decides he wants to do something else with his life that is perfectly fine; that he is not stuck with a choice he made young. So far he continutes to be interested and as time spent on this skill set is not wasted, even if he eventually chooses another profession, I am happy to devote some time and resources to it. Early Bird is happy to be included, even though it is not his ambition.

Our main resources for this summer will be the free to download book Architecture: It's Elementary! generously put out by the American Institute of Architects and Michigan/Michigan Architecture Foundation. Our first two weeks we will also be using 123 I Can Build! which I got for $6 on Amazon.com. I have purchased other books in the series before and I like them very much for beginners like my kids. Or myself.

Architecture: It's Elementary! has lessons for grades Kindergarten through 5th Grade. We will be starting at the K level and go through until it becomes too much for Builder Boy. At the Kindergarten level there are actually a lot of vocabulary words that are new to all of us, so it's a good place to start, even if that's not Builder Boy's grade level. Because it is still relatively easy, we did both lesson one and part of lesson two today. (For lovers of the Oxford Comma, be warned: they do not use it. At all.)

Builder Boy's Finds

Level K, Lesson 1 is a review of basic shapes; square, rectangle, triangle, circle, and semi-circle. We did a quick review, defining the shapes, then I had them go around the toy room and find those shapes. We were flexible and generous in the shape finding, as not all elements of architecture in real life are perfect shapes, either.

 

Early Bird's Finds

They also looked at the provided pictures that I printed out from the book and identified basic shapes in the structures shown.

We skipped tracing and drawing and cutting out the shapes for today.




Level K, Lesson 2 we did not do all of today. But I did have Builder Boy replicate the street scape pictured in the lesson with his blocks. Taking a two dimensional picture and translating it into a three dimensional object is a skill that will prove very necessary if he is to be a builder, so I thought this would be good practice. He did a very good job, and I appreciated how intentional about scale he tried to be. Here's a picture of his results:

After that we moved outside for the first project in 123 I Can Build! The project served to emphasize the need for a strong foundation and to show how strong cylinders are. We used rubber cement to glue a large, heavy rock onto cut toilet paper rolls. On top of the rock we built a city using air dry clay. (I couldn't find our play-dough!) Tomorrow when it is all dry we will paint it. Or rock was very rounded on top, so we could only make two small buildings each. Builder Boy and I made rectangular prism and cylinder buildings, and Early Bird made a dome and a triangle "tent" looking thing.

As an added bonus for Christians, this rock foundation project is a great time to sing the Foolish Man/Wise Man song and talk about Jesus as a strong foundations on Whom we build our lives on. The boys talked about this and came to the conclusion that Jesus is also like concrete, since modern homes are usually build on a strong concrete foundation.















This weekend we also went to Home Depot for some basic supplies for Builder Boy to learn how to hammer a nail. We've been putting out feelers in our church, looking for a retired carpenter who would be willing to pass on skills to a youngster (hopefully for free.) So far we haven't found a teacher, but I promised Builder Boy this would be the summer he learned how to hammer two pieces of wood together, so went to the store. I purchased a small tool box, a small hammer, some nails that an employee recommended, and a 2x4 that they cut down for us (first 2 cuts free!) Home Depot offers free kid classes the first Saturday of every month, 9 am to noon. Builder Boy is very much looking forward to doing that on the 5th with Principal Daddy.

We already had some scrap particle board, so we had Builder Boy learn to set and hammer a nail into that first to get the hang of it. Then he tried hammering a nail into a 2x4 and he learned that that is much harder! I hope I am am teaching him correctly, and am not instilling bad habits that he will have to break once he has a proper teacher. I've made a Kid Carpentry board on Pinterest for ideas for learning and projects he could do. If anyone knows of a good YouTube video or other website with good, extremely basic instructions, I'd love to hear about it!

If you have a young child who is interested in building structures, but isn't quite ready for hammering real nails and wood, then check out my post on how to make a PVC Pipe Building Kit.

How a Gifted Childhood Prepared Me for Gifted Parenting

I'm a fan of Building Wing Span and in January she posted a blog post entitled "Being Gifted in no way prepares you for Parenting Gifted kids." I was quite surprised by this because I had found the exact opposite to be true for me. Now, re-reading the post it seems that the author was maybe having a bad day. Plus, she has more kids than I do, and her kids have extra gifted attributes that mine do not have. This post is not intended to be a slam on the author. Merely, that post inspired this post.

I admit: I was a weird kid. Even if I hadn't dealt with issues that young kids shouldn't have to, I still would have been a weird kid. I also wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. One of the things I would do as a child would watch my grandmother or other parents I came across in life. I would see things that they did that I or other kids responded to well, and filed those away. I would also look at things that did not work (using fractions to extend the time a kid has when you're counting to a number to get them to do something? Please; no kid respects that.) and decided that I would never do those things. (Tempered, of course, by later teen and adult reading about childhood development.)

I also have quite a lot of memories from my childhood and teenager-hood that I have analyzed. Those years still feel very recent, and those memories are still fresh. Looking back, I have been able to learn a lot from them for what I want for my own children. Especially as I see so much of myself in them at times. 

Being a weird child, I never fit in well with my same age peers. My best friend for the first part of my childhood was almost two years older than me (thank you, Kim, for accepting me even though I was younger!) I found myself drawn to adults for conversation and and social interaction. Sadly, most adults I encountered were not interested in being engaged by a child. Those rare adults that I encountered that did, I treasured. The lady who listened to my interest in becoming a horticulturist and developing a green rose (in elementary school) that showed me a collage level biology text and introduced me to the fun things I later found out were called "Punnett Squares." I remember you, Ma'am. The great uncle who let me enthusiastically show him my small coin collection, and then sent me some "Japanese Invasion Money" and told me the stories of his travels. Those encounters were treasures in my childhood. And because of that, now that I am an adult I strive to be that for every child I encounter who seems like they need that. Not every child does. But there are some who need to be listened to and treated seriously by an adult. I encourage everyone who reads this that when they find those children, those young people, to give them your full attention and some of your time. Because it is a gift to them that they will treasure all of their life.

I lived most of my life with my grandparents. My father's parents for ages 5-12 and then 14-18, and my mother's parents from 12-14. They did their best, and I am grateful for what they did. But they were not prepared to deal with gifted intensities and overexcitabilities. And questions. I don't know if I really asked that many questions, but boy did I get the impression from my grandmother that my burning questions were a complete nuisance and bother to her. Granted, this was in the days before Google. And I suppose it might have been embarrassing for her not to know the answers. But the attitude I perceived in her eventually made me shut down and stop asking. I didn't stop wanting to know. But neither was I taught how to find the answers to my questions. It was an extremely frustrating time for me. Coupled with going through puberty and some other factors and it was also one of my darkest times. Having my own children now, I am delighted when they come up with a question I don't know the answer to. We search and find out together. We follow rabbit trails, watch other suggested YouTube videos, we explore, and we learn. And even if the question is asked at an inconvenient time or has to be put off for a while, I try to never make them feel like they were wrong to ask. That their question is unwanted. If Early Bird wants me to "ask Google Translate" what the Spanish word for "room" is, then we do it. If Builder Boy wants to talk about and figure out how to make domino contraptions by watching videos, we do it. It may not always be the most interesting thing in the world to me, but it is for them; and I hope I never make them feel like such a bother for asking that they stop asking me.

In 4th grade at my elementary school, students were allowed to join band. The great thing about it was they took beginners who had never played before and taught them. Looking back, I'm really unclear how that was feasible. I just know that's how it worked. I wanted to play flute. I REALLY wanted to play flute. I told my grandmother I wanted to play flute. I got a clarinet. Because "everyone else" plays flutes and I should do something different. And my great aunt was able to hand me down a clarinet. So I played the clarinet. And I would look at the flutists longingly, but never said another word about it. Until I moved in the middle of 6th grade to live with my mother's parents. At that school, band did not start until 6th grade, but everyone was required to play. So I was stuck in a classroom filled with beginners who didn't even want to be there. A room full of clarinets and only one flute player. I was able to rent a flute from the school district and taught myself to play and caught up with the class in time to play in the end of year concert. I loved it and as long as I was playing flute, I didn't touch the clarinet. But the school year ended, the flute went away. I moved on to a private school, now out of practice with my clarinet, and haven't played either instrument since. My clarinet was given away to another cousin by my great aunt who was annoyed that I was no longer using it. I shared that to say: please respect your child's passion choices. Don't substitute. This was not the only time a passion I had was taken away and was given something else and expected to just accept that. I'm not trying to say you should give your child everything they want. Most people can't afford that, and if you're open about that it would help a lot. But don't give them something else and expect them to be excited about it. Like ending figure skating lessons and expecting a bicycle to be an adequate replacement. (Okay, clearly I'm still a bit bitter about that one. The reason I was given was that they didn't like taking the time to take me to my once a week lesson.)

I think one of the most frustrating things for me growing up was that the strong emotions and frustrations I dealt with felt dismissed and ignored by my grandparents. Which just made me even more frustrated. I had an incident recently with Early Bird when I was impatient and frustrated myself and demanded a quick, yes or no answer. He didn't say anything so I made a decision. He was very upset because he was still thinking about it and hadn't gotten to reply yet (even though he eventually decided to go with the option I had chosen.) I'll never forget the picture of him, tears streaming down his face, saying "you didn't understand me!" Man that hit home. I scooped him up in my arms and I told him that I was very sorry for not understanding. I did explain that I could not read his mind and see that he had been thinking, and that him asking for a minute to think next time would be helpful. But I completely did understand that frustration and I validated it. Even though my children's emotions are sometimes fleeting, or illogical, or situationally inappropriate, those feelings are very much real and important to them at the time they are feeling them. And while those emotions might fade, they are going to remember how I treated those feelings, and how my treatment of them made them feel. A few months ago I read an article (wish I could find it again!) written to therapists/counselors on how to work with gifted patients and their overexcitabilities. One of their pieces of advice was to validate their patient's feelings; even/especially the emotional overexcitability ones. I didn't get that for myself; I am trying most definitely to do that for my children.

I consider the feelings and thoughts I had as a child to be valid and something I can learn from. I consider my children's feelings and thoughts to be valid. That viewpoint and those memories have helped me empathize with my children and, I think, have diffused some situations faster than they might have had I not empathized.

I love hearing about other people's childhood experiences and thinking about how I can learn from them. (I was a weird child; I guess I never grew out of being weird.) If you would like to share what you've learned from your own childhood, I would love to hear it! Please feel free to comment.

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This is my contribution for the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2014. I had a wonderful time reading the contributions last year and the year before, and I'm looking forward to this year's.

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2014!

Welcome to the 2014 Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour!
Parenting a gifted child can sometimes be as challenging as it is rewarding. That’s why for the third year in row, parents from The Well Trained Mind Message boards have created a blog tour to share wisdom, joy, tribulations and advice.
Starting Sunday, June 22nd the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour will discuss some of the most pertinent issues facing gifted education today:
On June 22nd Sceleratus Classical Academy will kick off our tour with “How a Gifted Childhood Prepared Me for Gifted Parenting”.
On June 23d At Home in the North Woods will share “Great Expectations, four ideas for dealing with perfectionism.”
On June 24th Homeschooling: or Who’s Ever Home will write about “Following the Passions of the Gifted Child.”
On June 25th Teaching My Baby to Read will feature a guest post.
On June 26th Homeschooling Hatters will discuss “Twice Exceptionality, when just one exception isn’t enough!”
On June 27th Teaching My Baby to Read will write about “Intensity Fades but doesn’t Forget.”
A difficult thing to understand about children with high IQs is that just because they are gifted, it doesn’t mean they are easy to teach or parent. In fact, often times the opposite is true.

This blog tour is written by people who understand what you’re going through. We are sending encouragement your way! So the next time you wake up at 3 AM worrying about your child, at least you’ll know that you aren’t alone.
Thanks for being with us on this journey!

Homeschooling with Depression

I've seen the question posed before on homeschooling forums: is it possible to homeschool when you're dealing with depression? I do, and here's how.

Happy Father's Day!

Gifts My Children Have Given Me

              that they don't even know about.

Builder Boy gave me the gift of being a mother. That was my greatest wish for all of my life. And my worst fear was that it would never happen for me. He literally made my dream come true, and I am so grateful.

Early Bird gave me two gifts. I never liked the color of my eyes very much. They're a shade of hazel that I used to describe as "partly dried horse poop." (And I know what that looks like from experience.) But when Early Bird was born with hazel eyes the same color as mine, I loved them. And it helped me find beauty in my own eyes. His eyes have turned brown, but that gift remains.

His second gift to me was what I learned about myself when I started researching giftedness because of him. Builder Boy's gifted traits were more subtle than Early Bird's, and I needed his obviousness to start researching. And when I did, I learned about myself as well.

Lady Bug gave me a chance to express my secret girlishness that I kept hidden for so long, and spurned me towards getting help for childhood hurts.

I am so grateful to them. And I will never forget these gifts they have given me.

Right Start Math Drop-out

Okay, I'm finally ready to admit it: we are Right Start Math drop outs.

I love Right Start Math. Truly I do. It helped me improve my own mental math, just teaching Builder Boy the first level! It had great hands on stuff that Builder Boy needed and the way it dealt with numbers really worked for Builder Boy.

But.

It took too long. There was too much stuff to look ahead and plan and get out (even though it's all laid out for you.) And Builder Boy could not just do a set time limit. Oh no, we had to do an entire lesson. And then we had to add on something from a previous lesson that he just LOVED. So that even when it was easy for him, it was still taking much longer than I was willing to spend on it.

We didn't even finish the first book. And I got so sick with Lady Bug's pregnancy, and...yeah. After Lady Bug was born I tried to start it with Early Bird, and it worked for a while. But again, too long. Especially now that I have two students.

I wanted so much to go through the whole program. But the best curriculum isn't one or the other, but rather the one that gets DONE. So I'm not going to be buying the next level. (Which is a bit of a relief money wise, though I still believe that if you have the money and it works for you, you should totally do it.) So what now?

Working on Dreambox

Well, sometime before I had Lady Bug I signed Builder Boy up for a free trial of Dreambox online. I knew after watching for just two days that this was something I was willing to pay for. (And it wasn't too expensive, either!) The on screen abacus they used was the same as the Right Start Abacus, which was good. It also introduced other things that were new to Builder Boy. I was very happy with the way that they presented most things. I had heard that there was an assessment test, and I was confused when nothing I saw him doing looked like an assessment test. The "tests" were actually sprinkled in with the other activity choices. When a new concept popped up with a star on it, it was a test. If you knew it, you moved on and didn't do any more. If you didn't "pass" high enough, or pushed the "I don't know" button, then they teach it to you. Very low key, and perfect for test anxious kids. I really loved the progress reports sent to the parent's e-mail, and the ability at any time to see where exactly he was in various sub sections of math. Also, it was cartoon-y and fun. It had a built in reward system and other "games" (that were actually math application practice and logic games) and little stories and videos that the kids earned by doing enough activities. It was perfect for Builder Boy and he loved it. Until he didn't. I don't know if it was a lack of practice, scaffolding, or teaching, or if he just wasn't developmentally ready; but somewhere at the end of the 2nd grade materials Builder Boy hit a mental wall and just couldn't go any further and started crying every time I asked him if he wanted to do it.

He'd been playing quite a bit for several months at that point, so I gave him a math break. He'd almost completed 2nd grade math before Christmas, so I wasn't worried about him being behind. Plus, Dreambox saves the child's progress, even if we dropped our membership for a while.

December is when I was dealing with the worst of my postpartum depression, so math got dropped for several months. In February I purchased the first six Life of Fred books (grades K, 1, & 2.) Builder Boy devoured them up in a week. We've started going though them a bit more slowly now together, once in a while.

Around that time we also started working on telling time. I mostly made stuff up and got Pinterest ideas for that.

Sometime around March I picked up Second Grade Math in Action (Sylvan Workbooks) (Math Workbooks) at Costco, and we did whatever Builder Boy felt like in that for math.

Taking the ADAM

Around this time I started looking into Math Mammoth workbooks. I really liked that they had not only grade level books, but subject specific books to work on areas that needed more practice. Since we'd been practically unschooling math, I thought it would be good to get a better idea of where Builder Boy was. So I signed him up for the ADAM K-7 by the same company that produces the DORA. Like the DORA it was online, so no writing (yay!) and adaptive, which means less time wasted, and you're not stuck in one grade level only. His scores left me a bit more confused, however. (I still recommend it! Worth the $20.) But as part of the report it offered the Khan Academy lessons that corresponded with his lower scoring areas.

I've been hearing about Khan Academy for years; since I first started reasarching homeschooling online. They're free (yay!) so I signed Builder Boy up. It is not a cute and there's no play like Dreambox. It is just plain math. But you can earn badges, which fills Builder Boy with pride. And the teaching videos are great.

Builder Boy has been working faithfully on Khan Academy since early April, and he's almost finished with the Early Math (K-2nd Grade) stuff. Their assessments make you prove more times that you can do it, and I like that. It makes advancement a little bit slower, but so far it hasn't frustrated Builder Boy. There are things that the videos, which teaches, I'm thinking, a more traditional way, that sometimes aren't everything Builder Boy needs on his own. But because I'm watching a little bit, and I watched some of Dreambox, I can tell him "remember, it's like __________ on Dreambox?" And that different way he learned months ago he can then apply to the Khan Academy problem, and then he's good. It's only been a month and a half, but I've seen a great jump in his confidence and his ablity.

So now the plan is to finish the Early Math and then continue to 3rd Grade Math at Builder Boy's own pace throughout the summer, taking a break near the end of the summer. (We school year round. At least, that's always the plan.) In the fall we will do Math Mammoth 4 days a week and Khan Academy on the 5th or for extra fun or to earn extra rewards or something. I'm looking forward to having Builder Boy take the ADAM again next year and see the difference.

I don't know if Math Mammoth is going to be the curriculum for us or if we'll have to go looking next year. At least it's pretty inexpensive in comparison to Right Start. (I'm planning on buying the pdf and printing it out.)
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Links in this blog post will either take you to the main website of the company mentioned or another blog post of mine with further information. Only the Amazon.com link for the workbook is an affiliate link. The rest are linked purely for your convenience.

What does $4 worth of Easter eggs look like to a baby?

Bliss. It looks like bliss. I couldn't find ball pit balls by themselves at Walmart when I went looking in April, but I did find Easter eggs at the time, which are almost as good. And, because of their smaller size and shape, they're probably easier to pick up than ball pit balls. Lady Bug sure has fun with them!

Warning! Cheap plastic eggs can break easily. Do not leave baby unattended with the eggs.

Writing With Ease 1

We are now over a third of the way through Writing With Ease 1 so I thought it was time to blog about it.

Writing With Ease is an elementary writing curriculum by one of my favorite curricula companies, Peace Hill Press (printing company of Susan Wise Bauer: co-author of The Well Trained Mind, and a leader in the homeschooling world.) I purchased both the 4 year guide and the Level 1 workbook, though most people can use just one without the other. The 4 year guide is better for if you want to use your own literary sources, the workbooks are if you want it all laid out for you; which I prefer.

I have noticed several of the same questions being asked  about this curriculum on the Well Trained Mind Forum, so I thought I would answer the ones I am able to. (Please note, my experience is only with the WWE1 and FLL1, and not with any of the higher level volumes.)

Do I have to start Writing With Ease: Workbook 1 in 1st grade?

My answer: no. The books are labeled by level, not grade, for this very reason. We actually did not begin WWE1 until halfway into our 2nd grade year (for Builder Boy.) Here is why:

Handwriting, despite progress, is still a weak area for Builder Boy, and I did not want to overwhelm him. If he's struggling to form the letters, he's going to miss the forest for the trees, know what I mean?

Also, I was uncomfortable having Builder Boy writing words that he could not yet read. I did not want him just memorizing words, and it did not make sense to me to have him writing something he could not read. We we started WWE1 his reading level was around 3rd-4th grade.

 

Do you really need to do both Writing With Ease and First Language Lessons?

My answer: yes. There is some overlap. If you are doing both, unless your child is a strong writer, the copywork in FLL1 can be skipped. WWE1 does cover the same grammar that is in FLL1, but at a more accelerated pace, and with less instruction, practice, and review. I actually think you should not begin WWE1 until your child is at least halfway though FLL1.

 

Do First Language Lessons and Writing With Ease lessons match up? Do they have to be taught at the same time?

My answer: no. I recommend beginning WWE1 after you have finished at least lesson 50 of FLL1. When you get to WWE1 there will be some minimal review, but it's good practice and application. 

 But if you don't start them at the same time, won't that mess up your schedule?

My answer: if you're flexible, no. One way to do this is to start with the first half or so of FLL1 only your first year. It is gentle enough that if you skip copywork and do it completely verbal, and with some extra kinetic activities added, that it can be done with kindergartener or 1st grader. Then the next year you can finish FLL1 and continue with FLL2, while beginning WWE1.

If you're the type that just HAS to finish a book a year, and doesn't want to finish one early in the year and continue on without finishing a second, then my advice would be to stretch FLL1 over the kindergarten and 1st grade years and then start FLL2 with WWE1 for 2nd grade.

 

Does it matter if I do the lessons within the week out of order?

My answer: not at first. WWE1 is broken up into 36 weeks, with 4 days of lessons for each week.

1. Day 1 is copy work
2. Day 2 is a narration exercise
3. Day 3 is another copywork
4. Day 4 (for the first three weeks) is another narration exercise. 

Day 1's copy work is connected to Day 2's narration story, and Day 3's copywork is connected to Day 4's narration, all coming from the same literary source.
It was weird to me that the kids do a copywork not knowing the context, so at first I flipped it and did

1. Day 2 Narration
2. Day 1 Copywork
3. Day 4 Narration
4. Day 3 Copywork

At week 4, Day 4's lesson is both narration and copy work. They same flipped schedule can still work. An alternate schedule that we have used successfully is:

1. Day 2 Narration + Day 1 Copywork
2. Day 3 Copywork
3. Day 4 Narration + first part of copywork (my boys tend to have longer narrations than they are comfortable writing in one sitting.)
4. Finish Day 4's copywork. OR nothing if it got finished in the first attempt.

Now that we've gotten comfortable with the program, I think I will try the original schedule and see how it goes.

What if you have an early learner who isn't up to a lot of writing, but loves making stories and would benefit from this curriculum?

My answer: the same way I include Early Bird in most of Builder Boy's subjects. I outlined my philosophy for adapting curriculum for young, early readers on Dusty's blog here. How I include 5 year old Early Bird with 7 year old Builder Boy is this: they both listen to the story and take turns answering questions. They both give a narration sentence.  All done orally, no problem.

For Day 1 & 3 copywork Early Bird chooses which ever word from the story he wants. I put it on K paper with crayon and allow him to write (or not) as he chooses. Sometimes he does, sometimes he asks me to write part of the word, sometimes he just doesn't. All of that is acceptable. For the Day 4, I have him draw a picture illustrating his narration sentence.



Here's a look at what we did for Week 12 (which actually covered two different poems/songs.)

Narrations dictated to me.

Builder Boy, "Day 1" Copywork

Builder Boy, "Day 3" Copywork

Builder Boy, Day 4 Copywork of his own narration sentence.

Early Bird's copywork, self chosen words

Early Bird's illustration of his narration sentence. (He requested that I label it.)

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The original link is to the author's business page where you can purchase Writing With Ease not only in workbook form, but also in PDF if you prefer to use their illustrated writing pages instead of writing paper, but don't want to scan and print that many pages. The picture is a link to the Amazon.com listing for the workbook, which is often (but not always) less money to purchase. Both are affiliate links.

The Search for Friends

Before we moved, I had one friend who had a girl Builder Boy's age, and another daughter ten months younger than Early Bird. We went to a very small, older church that for the last year before we moved had no other children. We attended Bible Study Fellowship once a week and Builder Boy did AWANAs once a week. That was almost the full extent of their experience with other children. They never mentioned making friends in either of their activities. They were (and still are) each other's best friends. My friend's older daughter started public school in kindergarten, so our time with her became very limited during the school year.

After we moved, we did not know anyone. We now belong to a huge church that is easy to get lost in, and hard to connect with people. The boys each have their own Sunday School classes; but the classes are so large that they tend to get lost in the crowd. We started AWANAs again this fall, but still no friends made.

Early Bird started bemoaning our lack of friends, and kept mentioning how sad that made him. I asked him what about the kids in Sunday School? Nope; they don't count. So I asked him what "friends" do, and he defined "friends" as people who came to our house and played. After we joined a weekly small group from church, where we go to someone else's house every week, he has been perfectly content.

If your child is expressing a need for friends, defining terms and expectations can be very helpful.

At first, I really hoped that the small group weekly get together would produce friends for Builder Boy. There were two boys close to his age and I had high hopes. But as time went on it became clear that Builder Boy did not fit in with those boys; and one in particular did not want to include Builder Boy.

On one hand, I can understand. Builder Boy is still working on his speech; if you're not used to listening to him, he can sometimes be difficult to understand. He likes things a certain way and when things do not happen that way, he can get upset. Which, thanks to emotional over-excitabilites, is more emotionally expressive than other kids would expect. Builder Boy also has different interests than other kids his age, and has not been exposed to most of the pop culture that the other kids have.

On the other hand, I had very few friends as a child; in some grades none at all. I am very sensitive to my child being purposely excluded. (Which he is thankfully so far oblivious to.)

I had a good talk with the mother of the other little boy, and

I realized that I needed to adjust my expectations. 

It was unfair of me to expect that group to provide everything for my kids, friend wise. Even though it would have been nice. And talking to Builder Boy I realized, he has different needs than the ones I have been trying to fill. For Builder Boy, everyone (unless they are out right mean to him) is his friend. So he thinks he has a ton of friends. He doesn't really have much of a desire for much else at this time. (Which is not unusual for a seven year old boy.)

Determine your child's actual needs.

 

And lastly, diversify.

This applies to both where you are looking for friends, and what your idea of a friend is. Builder Boy does much better with kids much younger or older than him. Okay, I need to stop obsessing about him having a best friend his own age. Now that it's almost summer and our out-of-home activities are over for the "school" year, we have more free time for playdates. Early Bird's "bestest buddy EVER" from our church is from a homeschooling family with older boys that are very sweet about playing with the several years younger Builder Boy. And it's working out GREAT! Their mom, who I have talked to about having difficulty finding friends, has suggested that he's more likely to have stuff in common with homeschooling kids than with public school kids. (Not trying to be a homeschooling snob. That's just been her experience.) So, gulp! we're going to join their learning club in the fall. We're also looking at Boy Scouts or 4-H clubs in the area, though that's probably going to be put off until next year. One new thing at a time! We will probably have a better chance finding friends where we know they will share at least one interest.

Builder Boy came out of his Sunday School class all excited last week because he finally had a friend! It was girl. Not that I have a problem with him making friends with a girl; I was just hoping he could hang out with a boy, too. But he's very excited and he made her a card to invite her to our home to play. He noticed that her dress had rainbows on it, so he inferred she must like rainbows and made her this card:

Flowers, a rainbow, butterflies, and hearts. Not your typical boy card; but super sweet. He drew what thought she would like.

I don't have all the answers; and we still don't have scores of kids clamoring to be the boys' friends. But each is getting the needs they have at this time met; and that makes a happy mama.

So if you, too, are struggling to find friends for your homeschooled and/or gifted kids, here are my tips:

• Determine your child's actual needs.

• If your child is expressing a need for friends, define terms and expectations so you're on the same page.

• Adjust your expectations.

• Diversify.

This blog post was my contribution to the GHF Special Tips, Toys, Tricks, and Tools for Parenting and Educating Gifted/2E Blog Hop. For more great tips, toys, tricks, and tools, click here.

Too Much "I love you" ?

Several years ago, perhaps before or around the time Builder Boy was born, I was watching an episode of Survivor. (Okay, I was watching a whole season of Survivor.) The contestants received letters from home as a reward. One of them received a letter from his mother in which she wrote "I love you," and he cried because this was only the third time in his life she had ever said that to him.  He was an adult! And his mother had only told him two other times that she loved him? I understand that some people are not great communicators, but I saw how much that affected this grown man, and I vowed my children would never be able to count on one hand how many times I had told them I loved them. Unless they were counting that day only.

One time I shared on facebook that I told Early Bird I loved him, and he answered with "meow!" Someone commented that saying "I love you" so much to my children diluted its meaning, and I needed to say it less so the kids would appreciate it more. Um, no. I am not letting a day go by when I do not tell my children I love them. Every time I put them in the car, I kiss them and tell them I love them. Because what if that was my last chance to tell them that, and I missed it?

Yesterday, a person from an online community I am emotionally invested in unexpectedly lost her young son. I doubt she regrets saying "I love you" as many times as she did, and probably wishes she had said it more. Please; hug your children; tell them you love them.

In honor of a little boy, who's favorite color was red.

Lady Bug is Nine Months Old!

I'm a week late in posting this, but that hasn't stopped Lady Bug from growing! She is nine months old now, and today her second tooth broke through the gum line.

I'm not sure how much she weighs, but she feels huge. These past three months have passed much faster than the first months did. But Lady Bug is not listening to me when I tell her she's the perfect travel size.

We are slowly and carefully working on overcoming her aversion to being on her stomach or downward facing. No rolling back to front or crawling yet, but she's finally showing interest in moving herself toward something; if she wants it enough. It's funny watching her squeal at something, commanding it to come towards her.

We have begun working on the baby sign for "more." I accept clapping or any form of bringing hands together at this stage.

Eating is going well. I've been making different combinations of foods for her, and she likes lots of healthy foods. She also is working on holding things to gnaw on and putting small things in her mouth. Maybe with the emerging teeth she'll be able to start to chew soon.

I've been "shopping" among the stored baby toys from the boys. Lady Bug now enjoys playing by herself for a time. Apparently, her older brothers also like playing with her baby toys; so she rarely plays alone for long.

"Genius" vs. "Gifted"

Confession: I inwardly cringe when you call my child a "genius." I'm sure it's meant as a complement, but all I hear is "stop bragging about your kid."

Maybe it's because growing up, the word "genius" was thrown around as an insult by the other kids at school. Maybe it's because I know the only "real" geniuses are the top 2%, and it's statistically unlikely my child is one of those 2%. But whatever the reason, when someone casually applies it to one (or all) of my children, I withdraw; shut down. You might be saying "wow, your kids are so smart!" What I hear is "stop talking about your kids and making me feel bad about mine." And that very well may be all on me, hearing the wrong thing. My experience, and articles on blogs about how "everyone is gifted" and posts on forums about how someone doesn't believe three years olds can read because her four year old isn't so you must be lying. Because I know all too well that comparison is a thief of joy, I am extra sensitive to not wanting to put other parents in the position where they feel bad about their own child. So most of the time, I don't say anything. Within groups of moms talking and sharing, I smile and nod and keep it zipped. I tired reaching out when I freaked out about my not yet three year old starting to read; I did not get a good reaction from the mom group I asked for help from. So I'm gun shy now about saying anything. Even on my private facebook, with just family and friends, I hold back. I only share the occasional funny thing they say; nothing about academic achievements. Lady Bug is just a baby; not even an advanced one that I can see. But I shared something she did and someone said "don't be surprised she's a genius, just like her brothers." I know, I know, it was meant as a compliment. But please, world, stop throwing the word "genius" around. Genius is a word used to identify 2% of the population. My kids are not geniuses. My kids (at least, my boys are; not sure about the baby girl yet) are "gifted."

Just as "genius" identifies 2% of the population, "gifted" identifies people (adults as well as children) who's brains work differently from most of the population. There are intellectual advantages, as well as some disadvantages to being gifted.  Gifted describes a difference in brain wiring, just like ADD or autism. But some (unfortunately very vocal) people tend to take issue with the term "gifted" unlike ADD or autism. Because, they reason, if only some people are gifted, then they don't have "gifts." (I'm not going to link to the latest blog post gone viral on this. She's not going to get even more traffic from me.) Nope, not how that works. Most people have at least one special talent or ability or personality trait that is a gift to themselves and to others. That is not what the word "gifted" means in this context. And sadly, despite plenty of information out on the internet, people still refuse to accept this. Some refuse, despite evidence to the contrary, that people like this even exist. It's all bragging and lies. Others think that gifted people aren't that different, so they don't need a label; especially one that marginalizes their children. The problem with that is gifted kids, who learn differently from the average student, can struggle just as much as a child with a learning disability. Not to mention the 2E kids who are both gifted and have a learning disability! Just because gifted kids are "smart" doesn't mean they'll do well enough in school. Gifted kids need special education, just like the "special education" kids. And as long as we keep denying them the label, the funding for special education for gifted kids is going to keep being one of the first things cut in the school budget.

Okay, I may have gone a bit off topic there. My point is, gifted people are real; they exist. They are measurably different in such a way that demands a label. "Gifted" is that label. Please stop trying to take that away from them. Just like the label "ADD" doesn't diminish those who don't have it, "gifted" doesn't take away from you either. But if you try to take it away from them, it takes away a lot.

And please don't throw "genius" around, either.

This blog is part of the Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page inaugural Blog Hop on The “G” Word (“Gifted”).  To read more blogs in this hop, visit this Blog Hop at www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_the_g_word.htm

Supplementing FLL1, Lessons 81-90

A continuation of how we're adding to First Language Lessons Level 1 to make it more kinetic learner friendly. (Click here for my posts on previous lessons.)

(Lesson 82) Mr. Nobody Poem

Thanks to the few hand signs we worked out for this poem, the boys memorized it in record time! They even performed it together as part of our local library homeschooler book club Poetry Month get together. I made a video of Builder Boy saying and signing it. (Only a few of the signs are official signs.)

Mr. Nobody, by Anonymous
   

I know a funny little man,      ("y" hand tickling nose)

    As quiet as a mouse,      (pretend you're nibbling cheese and talk quieter)

Who does the mischief that is done

    In everybody’s house!      (use hands to show the slant of the roof, then the walls of a house)

There’s no one ever sees his face,      (shake head, stroke face)

    And yet we all agree      (nod head)

That every plate we break was cracked     (make a circle shape with your hands, break it apart)

    By Mr. Nobody.      (use thumb to point to someone behind you)

’Tis he who always tears out books,      (make a book with your hands, pull one hand away)

    Who leaves the door ajar,     (sign door as shown in video)

He pulls the buttons from our shirts,     (pretend to pull button off your shirt)

    And scatters pins afar;      (pretend to scatter)

That squeaking door will always squeak,     (sign door again)

    For prithee, don’t you see,

We leave the oiling to be done    (twisting motion with fist)

    By Mr. Nobody.      (use thumb to point to someone behind you)

The finger marks upon the door   (pretend to make finger marks)

    By none of us are made;     (shake head)

We never leave the blinds unclosed,

    To let the curtains fade.

The ink we never spill;   the boots   (make fist, turn to the side, sign shoes by knocking fists together)

    That lying round you see

Are not our boots,—they all belong

    To Mr. Nobody.      (use thumb to point to someone behind you)

That's pretty much all we added to this group of lessons. Coming up near the end of the book, and there is quite a bit of review. There is also some writing work that we've been skipping because that's still not a strong area for Builder Boy and we feel we are getting enough copywork with Writing With Ease. Once we start FLL2 we will start doing some of the extra copywork then. But for now, having a nice easy subject that doesn't take to long and can be done mostly verbally to start off our school day is a perfect fit for us.

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The lessons and the poem we got from FLL1. The original link is an affiliate link for buying it straight from the author, the picture is a link to the Amazon listing. I came up with the extra signs on my own. 

 

Baby in a Box

This past week we all got very, very sick. Everyone, except for Lady Bug (thank you, Lord!) She was wonderful, happy, and non demanding. The best baby in the whole wide world. (Or at least in MY world.) But, she is also still a baby. I wasn't up to much playing, and spent most of my time (when not taking care of puking boys) in bed. I brought a box to the bed and put Lady Bug in it and she had a BLAST. How is it I always forget how much fun kids have with boxes?

So if you've forgotten, too, here's your reminder: stick your baby in a box! They'll love it.

Warning! (For the kind of internet proficient people that still need to be told not to iron clothes that they are wearing.) Don't put your baby in a closed box, and don't leave them unattended.

Three Sisters: Day 6, Cantaloupes & Pumpkins Day 1 (Take 2)

That's no cantaloupe sprouts....that's grass. :(

Sooooooo, I had to re-plant the pumpkins and cantaloupes. It's been a week. I haven't been out there much because it started raining and Wednesday the whole family got sick with the norovirus. I am 90% better today so I went out to check for sprouts. (I am clearly an unrealistic optimist.) The pumpkin seeds had somehow become unearthed. And where the stick said we had planted the cantaloupes, grass was growing. (This is why you don't shortcut dump dirt on top of growing grass hoping the lack of sunlight will kill it.) So today, first day out of bed, I dug up more grass and replanted the seeds. (And pruned the rose bush that stabbed me multiple times when I was only trying to help it.) This time I put sticks all around where I planted the seeds, so I don't forget.

Oh, I have also learned, a bit too late, that you're suppose to gently transition plants going from inside to outside. Oops. Sorry, cilantro.

No sprouts yet from the corn. If they havn't sprouted by next weekend, I'm going to put in new seeds.

Slow and Steady: Week 35

For Age 0, Week 35 of Slow and Steady Get Me Ready the activity is to introduce your baby to bubbles!

I love the idea of blowing bubbles for my baby. But what if it's too cold or windy outside? Slow and Steady has a great idea: do it in the bathtub! I loved this idea, and when outside proved to be too windy for the bubbles to stick around, we moved to the bathroom. Unfortunately, Lady Bug did not care for these strange things flying around her.

I tried catching one to show her, but the bubble solution I was using was too easily popped. Also, I think she was cold and unhappy just sitting in the bath tub in a diaper.

So I gave her a break from the bubbles and set up some warm water to splash in the bath tub. Once she was warm and happy again, I had to figure out what to do about the bubbles.

Since we were in the bathroom, the solution presented itself: baby shampoo! J&J Head to Toe Body Wash to be exact. I poured some out in a dish, tried it, and it made excellent bubbles! It was easier to make only one or two at a time with, so she wasn't overwhelmed by too many. And they stuck to her instead of popping right away. That way, Lady Bug was able to see what happens when you touch a bubble and practice intentionally popping instead of it happening on it's own.

I'd say the second attempt was a success! And very little soap was wasted, because we used it for a bath once we were done making bubbles.

I like that in the bath tub the wind can't blow the bubbles away, so baby can have more contact with bubbles. But I'm sure she'll like bubbles flying away from her, too, now that she's had this experience.


















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 Slow and Steady Get Me Ready has a preview available at Google Books. It can also be purchased at Amazon.com (the picture of the book is an affiliate link.)

I don't get paid for reviews; all opinions are my own.