Deciding to Risk the NICU Again (Or Not)

Even as I was pregnant with Early Bird I was already thinking about having another child. Both my husband and I had wanted more than two kids, four being our "ideal" number. But then I had my second you're-going-to-die-if-you-don't-have-it-now emergency c-section, this time with a 3lb 1 oz premature baby and our view changed. Having gone through 7.5 weeks of having a baby in the NICU really took a toll on us. Was that something we wanted to risk going through again?

I asked my husband what was the worse thing about our NICU experience. He said feeling out of control, being completely dependent on strangers for the care of our fragile child. He said that it felt almost like giving our baby up for adoption and we only got visitation. And because we had another child we couldn't spend all day and night with Early Bird; we had to be home for Builder Boy, too.

For me, the separation was the worst. It was an hour's drive to the hospital and another hour's drive home. We had to schedule the visits right because that NICU only allowed us to hold him for one hour when he was being fed every three hours. We weren't allowed to hold him at other times so if we were late, we missed out and had to wait. With prayer and anointing, we emotionally handled the medical problems pretty well. It was the disconnect, I think, that affected us both the most. The disconnect that led to delayed bonding for me.

Early Bird at our first NICU reunion picnic

Before we brought Early Bird home, I desperately wanted to ask other the other moms in the NICU if they were willing to have another baby after this experience, but I felt it was too personal to ask an almost complete stranger. Thankfully a few months after Early Bird came home the NICU had a reunion picnic and the mothers of the two babies who were next to Early Bird in the NICU were there and we exchanged numbers. We connected on facebook and became good friends. We lived to far away from each other to see them often, but we've kept in touch and enjoyed watching each others NICU Buddies grow up. This year was the first time we couldn't make it to the reunion picnic and we really missed it. (This is the post about last year's picnic.)

The decision to have another child is individual for every person and their circumstances. Talking to other parents who have been in that situation helped me, so I'm blogging about it to help others looking for answers to that question, but don't have anyone to ask. Obviously my husband and I decided to go ahead and risk having another premature baby. We had intended to talk to a high risk specialist before conceiving to see what our chances were, but that didn't happen. We did make sure I was seen by a high risk ob/gyn so that this time around my concerns wouldn't be ignored and we were dealing with a doctor who was experienced with problem pregnancies. After being so horribly ill with this pregnancy, and having to be on bed rest and not being able to take care of my family we decided that this would be our last biological child. By the grace of God we made it through, somehow. But I don't want to deprive my family like that again. I am very happy that we have Lady Bug. I am annoyed with my body for being so bad at being pregnant. (That makes me feel a little bit like a failure, even though I know that's not the case.)

Lady Bug in the NICU

My extended family was not supportive of the idea of me risking my health and life again. They told me (before I became pregnant the third time) that it was selfish of me to risk my life and possibly leaving my children motherless and my husband as a single parent. But this decision was between my husband, God, and me, so I chose not to involve any others in the process. We prayed about it for a long time, starting when Early Bird came home. For a long time I really felt like God's answer was "no," and I respected that. Then it felt like was got the spiritual "go ahead" and despite the miserable times, I really think we did the right thing. I confess that very early on in the pregnancy, before I got on anti-nausea medications that worked, I did wonder if I had done the right thing. Even though I am pro-life, I wondered how I could possibly take care of my children when I couldn't even get off the couch or out of bed. I was in so much pain and constantly vomiting, I wonder, for a brief, dark moment, if it would all be too much and if I should end the pregnancy. But I held firm to my beliefs and my faith and I got through it. I never could have brought myself to get rid of the life growing inside of me; and I felt miserable for even thinking it for a moment. But I'm sharing this because if you're thinking about trying to get pregnant again after a previous, difficult or life threatening pregnancy, you should be prepared.

To that end I asked my two NICU mom friends to answer a few questions about their own experience and what they thought of risking having another preemie baby. When I asked a week and a half ago they both only had their NICU preemie child (their first born for each of them.)

 Victoria Smith
1) What was your medical condition that led to having a premature baby?
My medical condition was preeclampsia. My blood pressure got up to 199 over 119 before they decided to do a c section.
2) What were his/her birth stats? (gestational age, weight, etc.)
 Abby was 2 lbs 2 oz , 17 inches long, and I was 29 4/7 weeks along when she was born.
3) What health issues has your child had to deal with? Any lasting health complications for you?
 No lasting health problems to speak of. As with all preemies she is susceptible to asthma and things like that. She had a heart surgery but has no complications from it. Nor have I had any lasting complications.
4) Is there a greater possibility that you will have the same problems if you became pregnant again?
  Yes and no. There is the same chance I would have the same problem as before. And regardless I would have to deliver early via c section. But not necessarily a greater chance no.
5) Are you still interested and willing to have another baby, even with a higher risk of complications?
 Still that doesn't stop me from wanting more children. In fact I recently found out that I am pregnant again, and while I'm scared of more problems, I also have full trust in God for His perfect plan for me and my child.
6) Any words of advice?
 Going through a premature baby is one of the toughest and scariest things I've ever endured. However it has given me a greater appreciation of the frailty of life. I see my daughter as a miracle and thank God every day she made it through with flying colors. 

Amanda P.
1) What was your medical condition that led to having a premature baby?
 At 22 weeks pregnant I went to my gyno after having some lower abdominal pain and found out my cervix was open and I was dialated to 3 cm. From there I was referred to a perinatologist in Sacramento which was 1 1/2 hours from home and from their office I was admitted to Mercy San Juan Antepartum unit. Over the next week I was loosely diagnosed with an incompetent or waving cervix and stayed in the hospital for the next 7 weeks. My blood pressure spiked and dipped a few times but I think it was mostly due to the slew of horrible medications I was on. My water finally broke at 29 weeks after the amniotic sac was funneling through my open cervix for about 3 weeks and I had an emergency c-section on March 17, 2009
2) What were his/her birth stats? (gestational age, weight, etc.)
 Ayden Andrew was born at 29 weeks gestation and was 2 lb 6 oz and 13 inches long then dropped to 1 lb 11 oz 2 days after birth. He was so tiny and precious.
3) What health issues has your child had to deal with? Any lasting health complications for you?
 Currently Ayden struggles with asthma and is very susceptible to getting sick. He has a pretty weak immune system and he is also anemic. I am thankful that is all we have to deal with because the first 2 years of his life he was incredibly sick and had a lot of health problems. He had high blood pressure until age 3 and random seizures which have both subsided. He was also on at home oxygen and an apnea moniter until he was approximately 9 months old. I myself have had no lasting health problems due to my pregnancy or delivery.
4) Is there a greater possibility that you will have the same problems if you became pregnant again?
 I have a high probability of having the same complications again, about 80%, and I would have to also deliver via c-section. It is hard for my doctors to know until I'm pregnant how severe I would be so I would be put on bed rest from 16 weeks on and a cerclage of my cervix to try to prevent the opening of my cervix so soon.
5) Are you still interested and willing to have another baby, even with a higher risk of complications?
 I hope to someday have one more child but it will definitely be planned this time. If I do decide to get pregnant again I'll have to be at a point in my life where I can take care of myself and have the support to help me through what will be a tough road. I don't know if God has that in His plan for me right now but we will see.
6) Any words of advice?
 My advice to anyone dealing with a complicated pregnancy and/or the birth of a premature child is to reach out to all your resources whether it be the hospital social workers, your church, your family. Anyone and everyone you have that can be encouraging to you and supportive. That really helped me. Also, I read A LOT of books during my 7 1/2 week hospital stay about premature babies and all their possible medical problems and issues at each week gestation as I came to it. I also asked my doctors and neonatologists a lot of questions so I could feel more comfortable and confident with my son's care. I spent as much time as possible with my son in the NICU and since I lived so far away I utilized the Ronald McDonald house and the Friends of NICU at our hospital to help me afford to commute to be with my baby. Support is key! My son is such a miracle and a daily inspiration to me. We went through so much together but I wouldn't go back and change anything about our journey. Being a young mother, 20 years old when I got pregnant, I was definitely not "ready" or really mature enough to be a mother at that time in my life. Our experience really changed me and also drew me closer to God. I know now that everything happens how it is supposed to and I probably love my son even more because I know how fragile life is now and how precious each breath he takes is. ♡




A few years ago I made a facebook page NICU Babies for parents of NICU babies to connect with and talk about preemie issues. It's not a huge page, and I forget to update it at times, but if you have any preemie questions or want to ask parents who've been-there-done-that it's a good place to go. I'll be monitoring it so if you want to ask my or my friends any questions, we're all part of that page.

All difficult pregnancy, c-section, hospital stay, and preemie issue posts can be easily found on the Pregnancy and Preemies Page.

Barf Bag to Go

I figured out with my first pregnancy that the best thing to have on hand when you're outside your home and pregnant is to have a gallon sized Ziploc bag rolled up in your purse. Actually, several. They roll up or fold up to not take a lot of room, and once you're done puking you can seal it and through it away, no mess! If you have time you can fold over the edge and it stays open. If you have trouble sealing with your fingers I suggest getting the sliding lock ones.

This tip saved my sister from having to clean the interior of her car, so I thought I'd pass it on.

This Man Deserves a Medal

This is a picture of Builder Boy and Principal Daddy rubbing my puffy, pregnant feet. This man deserves a medal for everything he has done during this last pregnancy. This has been the hardest pregnancy for me, but it has also been difficult for him. He's picked up all the slack and more since I became too sick to move eight months ago. Here are just a few things he has done:

1. Cleaned up puke. A lot of puke. 
2. Helped me get ready for doctors appointments when I was huddled up in the fetal postion unable to help myself.
3. Did almost everything in our move to another state. I did maybe 1%.
4. Did all of the laundry and dishes since we moved. I literally have no idea how to run the new (to us) machines. 
5. Waited on me hand and foot, bringing food, drinks, etc. when I couldn't go up and down the stairs.
6. Indulged some really weird cravings.
7. Totally got me emotionally though the extended hospital stay. I couldn't have done it if it wasn't for him. And on the day when I was in recovery and he was at work and I was a non-stop crying emotional mess and I called him and told him I needed him: he dropped everything and came.

That may all sound like common stuff (except for the move) until you realize that he was doing this for eight months straight with no break and two other kids needing help and attention. There are countless other things that he did and put up with during this time. There were so many moments during these months that had me thinking "this man deserves a medal!"

Well, I don't have an official medal to give him. But I can publish here his example of love and at least get him some public recognition. Thank you so much, my love! I couldn't have done this without you.

Pregnacy Update

I'm on official, doctor ordered bed rest. I have been for over a week, since I saw my doctor following my trip to Labor and Delivery from when I fainted at church. With my history of HELLPs pre-eclampsia with my first and a premature at 32 weeks birth because of severe pre-eclampsia with my second, my doctor's not taking any chances. My blood pressure is creeping up and while not yet at an emergency level yet, I have to stay in bed to keep it from going higher. I am 34 weeks, 2 days today. I'm going in twice a week for BP checks with my doctor and my blood is getting drawn once a week to make sure my liver isn't shutting down and failing like it did with Builder Boy. Have I mentioned before that I have a needle phobia? Yeah......

Thankfully I have a wonderful lady from our new church who is getting me to my appointments this week and who is watching the boys during the appointments so I don't have to worry about that. She's a homeschooler, too, and since she has a few boys who are older than mine I hope I can pick her brain and learn a lot from her. Also I have a family member who is coming up to stay with us to help out. I am so very grateful for the support, both physical and emotional, that we have been receiving, and the prayers. I've told God what it is I want for this pregnancy, but like last time I'm leaving it in His hands and His plans. Just 5 more weeks before my scheduled c-section!

School-wise, I've almost given up on finishing anything this summer. Space School is not something I can do from the bed. But I started something for L2R to R2L that I'm going to blog about soon that I can do from bed, and I signed Builder Boy up for a free trial of Dreambox so I'll be reviewing that in a week or so. (I am so grateful we got a laptop computer. I was against it in the beginning, but I'm not sure how I'd survive bed rest without it!) I also want to finish my follow up review of Reading Eggs and what my kids got out of it. So I'm going to keep blogging; it might end up preserving my sanity. But here's something I've figured out:

Bed rest was clearly invented by a man; a woman would know that there is no way a pregnant woman should be allowed this much free time to think/worry/obsess over every little thing that is happening to her!

Daughter, You're Worth all the Hassle

Dear Unborn Daughter,

I have to say out of the three pregnancies I've experienced, being pregnant with you has been the most difficult. The five straight months of puking, the month of not being able to walk, and now a second trip to the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital for fainting at church.

But I also have to say that you're worth it; all of it. We longed for you and prayed for you before you were even conceived. No matter how you turn out or who you grow up to be, you are worth all the trouble, stress, and sickness. You are loved without ever having to do anything but exist. And I wanted to let you know now, in case something happens, that you are worth it all, and I love you.

Mommy

What 32 Weeks Means to Me

Today I am officially at week 32 of my pregnancy. This milestone means a lot to me because it was at 32 weeks exactly with my last pregnancy that I collapsed with severe preeclampsia and had to go to the hospital and have an emergency c-section. That means every day after today is "breaking" the record of my last pregnancy.

First time we got to hold Early Bird (a week after he was born)

When Early Bird was in the NICU, even before he came home, I struggled with the question of whether or not we would have another baby. We had planned on more, we wanted a medium sized family (in our view that was 3 or 4 kids.) But I had just had emergency c-sections twice now, and this one was premature. Should we really risk it again?






That choice is individual and personal for every couple to consider for themselves. For us it took three and a half years of talking with each other, thinking, and praying about it. For a long time we didn't feel like we had the spiritual "go ahead" signal. And then, we did. I had intended seeing a OB for a consultation before starting to try to get pregnant for a third time, but that didn't end up happening.

I could still end up with a premature baby. We're not out of the woods yet. This time around I made sure I am being watched by a High Risk OB and I'm monitoring myself very carefully. But every day after today I'm going to feel just a little bit easier.

Red is Bad!

My first pregnancy ended in HELLPS preeclampsia. I didn't have any of the outward, obvious symptoms of preeclampsia. I was overdue by two weeks, in the hospital with contractions but not progressing for 12 hours. They were going to send me home when the bloodwork came back: your liver is failing, you and the baby could both die if we don't get him out now; emergency c-section less than 10 minutes later.

My second pregnancy I collapsed after dinner at my in-laws house (who are retired EMTs) with high blood pressure. This time with a history of preeclampsia I went in to the hospital. Overnight, my blood pressure remained high (I don't remember the top number, but my bottom number never went below 100 and that was lying down for hours.) In the morning they transferred me to another hospital that specialized in premature babies. My oxygen saturation levels started dropping rapidly, there were concerns of fluid in my lungs and further complications if we waited, so another emergency c-section a short time later and I had a premature baby who only weighted 3lb 1 oz.

This time when we found out I was pregnant we immediately purchased a computerized/automatic blood pressure cuff. (Maybe $40 at CVS.) I was unhappy with the way my OB with my second pregnancy had not monitored me seriously (I was in her office the day before I collapsed with high blood pressure) and had dismissed my concerns (I tried to tell her I thought I was swelling at that appointment!) So I was determined that this time around I was going to get a doctor who dealt with high risk pregnancies and I was going to keep myself well monitored with the blood pressure cuff.

The blood pressure cuff I got comes with a green to yellow to red indicator to let you know how your blood pressure rates. Green is good, red is bad. They have two levels of green, one of yellow, and three of red. So when the night before last I couldn't sleep because of horrible spiking pain, vomiting, urge to "push," and blood pressure in the second level of red, I got really worried. When it didn't go away, and I kept vomiting and being in horrible pain and my blood pressure stayed in that red zone, I went in to Labor and Delivery after talking with the on call doctor. We didn't get there until after this had been going on for 8 hours so by the time I was hooked up to the monitors, the contractions/pain spikes were done, and my blood pressure was, I don't know what it was, but the nurse and doctor weren't concerned by it. Turns out I was really dehydrated, which brought on the pain and problems I was having. They hydrated me with an IV and sent me home.

Before we left, I showed my doctor the readings I'd had at home (I took my blood pressure about 5 times throughout the night) and he said that the top number wasn't high enough to be considered preeclampsia. I was too out of it to think to ask what was high enough to get worried about. After all, my blood pressure cuff said I was in the red zone! According to WebMD, the top number of 160 or a bottom number of 110 is the real RED ZONE. My highest reading for the night was "only" 132/102, so I wasn't there. That would have been nice to know before this all happened, but now that I know I'm going to ignore the colors on my cuff unless it's at the top red zone.

But I would like to share something sweet that did come out of all of this. I was holding it together just fine emotionally until we got into the L&D room and I was supposed to put on the gown. Then I lost it and became a crying, blubbering mess. My husband tried to comfort me, but I just needed to let it out. But that really upset the boys, especially Builder Boy, who looked like he was about to cry, too (we're new to the area and don't know anyone who could babysit, which is why the boys were at the hospital with us.) Once I made it in the gown and on the bed he took my hand and all on his own prayed for me and after that I didn't have any contractions and my pain level never went back to above a 4 (it had been spiking at a 7 before then.) It was such a beautiful comfort to see my child turn to God when he knew I was in need of help that he (Builder Boy) could not give me. A little while later Early Bird followed his example and did the same thing. 


I am so grateful for all the family, friends, and church members who got the message out and were praying for us. We felt those prayers, and every one of them was answered in the way we wanted them to be. Here's hoping for no more drama or worries until August 20th, the date of my scheduled c-section. Only 2 months and 6 days away!

Had a trip to Labor and Delivery this morning. Thankfully it was a false alarm, if a very painful and scary false alarm. I'll write more about it when I'm feeling better, but I would appreciate prayers. And I want to say how thankful I am, both for my wonderful husband and for my children's examples of faith today.

The baby is NOT in my stomach....

So, my kids are only 6 and 4 years old. As we don't live on a farm, they haven't had the "birds and bees" talk yet. There's been some expansion of their education of the female body since I've become pregnant, but I've kept it rather vague. I've been very clear that the baby is not in my stomach, but in my womb, a "special place that only mommies have." Builder Boy hasn't asked how the baby got in my "special place;" we've read to them God Gave Us You and I'm thinking he thinks that God put the baby there; and right now, I'm okay with that. (Yes, I am running away from the inevitable conversation we're going to have to have....)

Early Bird, on the other hand, has his own conclusions. A month or so ago he was talking to me about "Squishy" when I was resting and we were talking about her growing and getting bigger. He told me he thought she got into me through my mouth and down my esophogus and into my stomach (he knows about the digestive system thanks to Magic School Bus.) I told him no, that's not how she got inside me and he said "then where's the beginning?"

I admit it: I panicked. I probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I was NOT prepared to explain to my 4 year old the "beginning." I ummed, and hawed, and gave a general "down there" with a wave. Not satisfied with that he examined my exposed tummy and asked if she got in through my belly button. I realized he was NOT going to let this drop, so I told him she got into me down in my underwear area. I forget his exact, very funny words, but the gist was he thought that was a weird answer and I don't think he really believed me, because since then he's said repeatedly that when she was big enough I am going to burp her out of my mouth.

It probably doesn't help that when I was going through my crazy cravings I was saying things like "the baby doesn't like ______" or "the baby really wants ______."

I searched online for some sort of picture that showed the stomach and the uterus in the same picture, but all the pictures I found were either of the digestive system or the reproductive system, not both. I asked around and someone wonderful was able to direct me to a short clip that illustrates the uterus with the baby expanding and pushing aside the other internal organs including the stomach! (THANK YOU Museum of Science and Industry!) It even shows how food goes from the mother's mouth through her system and into the placenta-umbilical cord-baby. I showed it to the boys tonight and I think Early Bird finally believes me.

Since Early Bird was focused on how the baby was going to come out (which I am much more comfortable talking about than how she got in) I explained briefly how most babies came out, but I also told them about how there were complications with their births (I have mentioned that to them before) and that the doctor had to cut them out. I showed them my incision scar and after thinking about it for a minute, Builder Boy declared that they came out "the shortcut way!"

Oh, and here's a picture of Squishy from the ultrasound two months ago. :)

Pregnancy Product Review: Belly Band

At my 5 month OB appointment I mentioned to my doctor that I had been dealing with groin pain, mostly when I walked distances longer than half the length of my house. He said that was within the range of normal for pregnancy and that there really wasn't anything he or I could do about it. The ultrasound tech (a woman) noticed I was having some pain and recommended a belly band. After the appointment we went to Walmart, but apparently our local Walmart doesn't carry any maternity wear or products. Since we're still new in town I had no idea where else to look, and I wasn't feeling well enough to walk around searching, so I stopped thinking about it.

But the pain kept getting worse. If I had to walk up the stairs more than once a day I ended up limping/hobbling. Doing anything more than just sitting reclined in my arm chair became a painful struggle. And leaving the house and going to church ended with me in tears from the pain trying to make it back to the van. Which really stank because here I was finally not throwing up every other day, no longer completely immobilized by nausea, and now I couldn't walk.

I was helpless, in pain, and at my 6 month appointment my doctor was in such a hurry because of an emergency c-section on another patient that I wasn't able to talk to him about it. I ended up needing a wheelchair to get back to our van from the doctor's office because I just couldn't take another step. On our way home we tried looking for a belly band at Target, since they had one online. But the local store didn't have them. A person there recommended Babies R Us.

A few days later my visiting mother in law drove me the 25 minutes to Babies R Us and we finally found some belly bands. There weren't many different options to choose from; I ended up getting the Babies R Us brand Maternity Support.
I should tell you that a bathroom stall with nothing to place the instructions on is not the best place to try putting this on for the first time. There are 3 different pieces and 4 step directions. But I got it on eventually and we headed out.

The first thing I noticed was in the car ride back I was much less uncomfortable than I was on the car ride there. I continued wearing it that evening and even though I had walked through a Babies R Us (and have you ever been in a small Babies R Us?) I was feeling some pain but I was still able to walk at the end of the day. The next day I wore it I was able to walk around even more; again, with a small amount of pain, but nothing compared to what it had been. I've been wearing it all day long for a week now and I've had at least two days of complete freedom from pain and increased mobility in all the days I've worn it. Yay!

Cons to this product:

• sometimes it has to be adjusted several times, depending on your position and activity. What helps for walking around is often too tight for long periods of sitting. Luckily it is easy to adjust. Unluckily, the Velcro can be loud when adjusting, especially if you're sitting in a movie theater. (But hey, I made it to the theater and through an whole movie with my husband! Yay!)
• because it squeezes you some (especially if you put it on too tight) it can lead to even more pushing up on your internal organs, which in turn can push up on your lungs and diaphragm and you might noticed that and worry you're having trouble breathing, raise your blood pressure a bit, and then freak out and worry about pre-eclampsia. (Which is totally fixed by taking it off, drinking fluids when you realize you're dehydrated, and lying down for half an hour.) Not that that happened to me or anything....
• it's an extra layer under your clothes holding heat and sweat against your body; and I'm going to be wearing this in in the summer time.
• it has to be hand washed. They made a pregnancy item, needed most in the last trimester, that needs to be hand washed. Really?!

But other than that, I am really glad I got this product. I'd still be a painful mess without it. I've recovered enough this week that I'm going to try to get back to teaching Space School again. 
___________________________________________________________________________
I did not get paid for this review, all opinions are my own. For an Amazon link for a similar product try the Soft Form Maternity Support Belt .

Funny/Weird Pregnancy Cravings

When I was talking to my OB the other day I mentioned some of the cravings I've been having and he was pretty shocked. Which in turn shocked me, because he's been doing this for quite a while, so I would have thought he'd heard everything by now.

With Builder Boy, my first pregnancy, I only had mild cravings for fruit and Taco Bell.

With Early Bird, I only remember craving pickled beets with spinach (the frozen then cooked kind) drenched in white wine vinegar. And I drank the leftover vinegar left in the bowl.

With Squishy, my current pregnancy, I have had a TON of different cravings. The problem, though, is that I have also been super sick, and something I crave one day I will puke up and despise the next day. In the beginning with Squishy I only had occasion cravings for marinated artichoke hearts and Taco Bell. I was still able to eat most foods then, so I was probably getting most of what I needed.

On the move I was craving chicken breast sandwiches and sausage patties. I didn't want to eat anything else. That lasted about a week, then I got super sick and since then (almost two months now) I can't stand chicken breasts or ground meat of any kind. Which, unfortunately, is about 98% of what I cook with most of the time. So I'm cooking dinners for the family that I can't stand to eat myself.

Two weeks ago is when the really weird cravings hit. Have you ever heard of kippered snacks? That's what we called them growing up. It's tins of smoked, canned herring. That's what I wanted. That's all I could think of. And I wanted sardines in mustard sauce and some in hot sauce. When I finally got them, I ate 4 tins in 3 days. Plain, room temperature, straight out of the can at first. Then with hot sauce and sour cream. You read that right: canned herring with hot sauce and sour cream (and cilantro.) With pickles and pepperoncini on the side. And grapefruit juice. I ate a jar of pickle spears in 4 days. I ate an entire jar of pepperoncini (and those things are packed in) in a week. I drank a 64 fl oz bottle of grapefruit juice in 24 hours. And amazingly, as someone pointed out, no heartburn! In fact, if I ate a few pepperoncini when I was nauseated my stomach felt much better. And those five days were probably the best I've felt this whole year. (These are the cravings that made my obstetrician speechless.)

But those cravings are gone. Now I'm living off protein bars and microwave burritos. That's all I've eaten for 2 1/2 days now. That, and more grapefruit juice. I've been so sick at one point two months ago I was down 15 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (I started overweight, so that's not quiet as bad as it sounds.) I'm only 10 lbs down now, but I've got such major food aversion to almost everything that my doctor told my husband to go out and buy anything that remotely sounded good to me, just to get me to eat. So right now it's protein bars and frozen burritos. We'll see what it is tomorrow...

I haven't been posting because...

I'm pregnant! 15 weeks today, due August 24th. This is why I haven't been blogging. I've been too sick to sit at the computer and type, let alone do anything worth blogging about! Also, we just this week moved to a different state. Sooo, I want to try to start blogging again, we'll have to see. Yesterday I spent most of in bed, and half the day before that. I went from 160 lbs at the beginning of December to 142.5 lbs at the beginning of February. For those of you who pray, please pray for me. I've posted about Early Bird's early delivery, but I don't think I've shared that Builder Boy was also an emergency c-section because I developed HELLPs (a rare and dangerous form of pre-eclampsia.) This baby will have to be a scheduled c-section, and I'm considering while they're in there having them tie my tubes. I can't have another pregnancy like this where I'm so sick that it's a struggle to take care of myself and the kids, let alone do school, cook dinner, or take care of the house. Principal Daddy has been AMAZING, and Builder Boy has been too. He makes breakfast for himself and his brother every morning (microwaved oatmeal) while I'm still struggling to get out of bed. <3

Oh, and the baby's nickname is Squishy.  :)