Homeschooling and Overexcitabilities

This month's Hoagies blog hop is about Overexcitiblites, something I have mentioned several times before on my blog. Both Builder Boy and Early Bird demonstrate various overexcitabilities (here after shortened to OE's) and that has both hampered and helped our homeschooling efforts.

(I have also posted about Overexcitabilities portrayed in film here.)

Music and Art Appreciation: #1 Most Likely to Drop Subject

Part 5 (and last one!) of my series wrapping up what we learned this year in different subjects and what each experience taught me about homeschooling in general. (Part 1: History, Part 2: Science, Part 3: Math, Part 4: Language Arts.)

Gifted Babies: Where are the Resources?

Looking back, Builder Boy was my "easy" baby. I had a baby milestone book that he never deviated from. He was always "right on schedule" and I never worried about delayed or advanced. Sure, he did a few things here or there that seemed a bit unusual, and he could stack blocks higher than the milestone list said, but other than that, no signs of giftedness that were obvious enough to make oblivious me think he was anything other than perfectly average.

A Friday at Sceleratus Classical Academy

I had plans for this day; plans for this blog post. I was going to do what a fellow blogger did and take a picture on the hour, every hour of one day to give a snap shot of the day. But nothing this day went according to plan....which is actually pretty representative of almost every single day here.

Lilo: Dabrowski's Gifted Child in Reel Life

I've mentioned Gifted Overexcitabilites before, and linked before to the SENG page outlining them and the wonderfully-easy-to-understand-even-if-you're-new-to-this Jade Ann Rivera's posts about them. I was talking to my good friend Care from Homeschooling Hatters about our topic for this blog hop, and she pointed out that most media/books/movies/etc. paint either a positive, academically strong gifted ideal with none of the downsides, or make the smart kid the butt of jokes. As a result, very few people who aren't parenting a gifted child with overexcitabilites have never heard of them, and have a very incomplete picture of what being gifted really means.

Around the time I was researching about gifted overexcitabilites I watched the Disney movie Lilo and Stitch to see if it was something that would be a good movie for the kids. As I watched it I was struck by how much this little girl was acting like the things I had been reading about. And while Disney may not have intended it that way, they were clearly portraying a gifted child with several of Dabrowski's overexcitabilites, as well as other characteristics of a gifted child. (Spoilers ahead.)

When Gifted Overexcitiblities and an Introverted Personality Collide

Perhaps you've seen this meme before? It's a great visual representation of what it's like to have intellectual overexcitabilities. ALL things are interesting, all activities should be tried. (Except dentistry stuff; that stuff's gross and icky.)

Are You an Advocate for the Gifted?

Are you a parent of a gifted child? If you are, then you are a giftedness advocate. Because whether or not you are homeschooling or public schooling, asking for accommodation or going with the flow, chances are there are times where you have to explain your child to someone else. When you do that, you're being an advocate.

9/11 with Young Kids

(Picture from last year.)

Last year as part of an attempt to teach my kids about basic American holidays, we did a lesson on 9/11. Thanks to the gentle way we worked with the subject matter, my sweet, sensitive boys did okay. I did not show them ANY photos of the sight of the attacks, or anything that was not in "cartoon" form. I'm not going to teach them about it every year at this age; so we're not mentioning it this year. I don't want to overwhelm them; we'll do this lesson again next year. But I'm re-sharing the lesson for those who are looking for a way to introduce a very difficult subject to young or sensitive kids.

Guest Post at To The Moon and Back!

Did I forget to share this back in March? I keep looking and I'm not seeing a mention of it anywhere! Back in March, the fabulous Dusty who blogs at To the Moon and Back let me guest post on her blog! I wrote about the rules I have for working with a young learner who isn't up to a lot of output, but desires and is able to do a high level of input. Please check it out if you're interested. And look around her blog while you're at it; she's amazingly crafty! Dusty is the one who guest posted for me this great post about encouraging creativity that was posted here back in February.

Edited Later: OOPS! The link was wrong. NOW it goes to the post.

The Search for Friends: Part 2

In May I wrote about the trouble we've been having in trying to find friends for the boys. Some things have worked out, some have not. Early Bird and Builder Boy spent every morning for a week at our church's Vacation Bible School. Early Bird came out of it with another friend; Builder Boy didn't. I asked Builder Boy about it, and he said that the other boys (there were so many kids that they were divided by grade and gender) were "stinking and annoying."  I asked him what he meant about that, and he did not like that they were "pushing and kicking and cutting [in line]" while he was the only one following the rules. On one hand I was proud of him for being discerning, and not following the crowd in bad behavior. On the other hand I was sad for my isolated son in whom I saw so much of my own, lonely childhood self.

Guest Post at Red, White, & Grew

Pamela Price over at Red, White, and Grew graciously hosted a guest blog that I submitted to her a while back. (Here's the link.)

It has been more than a month since I wrote that, and I'm doing better with the anger about the misdiagnosis. Lately though, I've been feeling a lot of hurt. Back when the hurts occurred, I think I internalized them and tried to ignore them. Now I'm facing them and the feelings they create, trying to put words to my pain so I can get past the hurt.

I've been talking with a small group of people who have had a similar experience to mine. It really helped to realize that I wasn't alone in this; it happens a lot. I hope that sharing my story will help others, as I have been helped by the sharing of others.

How a Gifted Childhood Prepared Me for Gifted Parenting: Part 2

Yup, that's me.

After writing and posting my contribution to the Parenting the Gifted Blog Hop I realized that I was not yet finished with my subject. Since the theme of this month's GHF Blog Hop is also Gifted Parenting, I thought I would finish the post. (Part 1 is here.) As commenter Dusty pointed out, the things I wrote about are not exclusive to gifted kids; nor is learning from your childhood. Rather, it is the intensity of emotion and potential damage things can inflict that are a greater concern for gifted kids.

I only recently learned about gifted overexcitabilities. I first read about them here and more at SENG here. I was looking for information for my children, and found myself learning about myself as well, It was one of the missing pieces that once in place with my PTSD realization helped free me from a misdiagnosis of Bipolar 2. (More about that on another blog post coming soon.) I think I'm going to need to write a Part 3 for this series, because I keep thinking of more and more things. But for now I'm going to talk about just three: Fairness, Communication, and Protection.

How a Gifted Childhood Prepared Me for Gifted Parenting

I'm a fan of Building Wing Span and in January she posted a blog post entitled "Being Gifted in no way prepares you for Parenting Gifted kids." I was quite surprised by this because I had found the exact opposite to be true for me. Now, re-reading the post it seems that the author was maybe having a bad day. Plus, she has more kids than I do, and her kids have extra gifted attributes that mine do not have. This post is not intended to be a slam on the author. Merely, that post inspired this post.

I admit: I was a weird kid. Even if I hadn't dealt with issues that young kids shouldn't have to, I still would have been a weird kid. I also wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember. One of the things I would do as a child would watch my grandmother or other parents I came across in life. I would see things that they did that I or other kids responded to well, and filed those away. I would also look at things that did not work (using fractions to extend the time a kid has when you're counting to a number to get them to do something? Please; no kid respects that.) and decided that I would never do those things. (Tempered, of course, by later teen and adult reading about childhood development.)

I also have quite a lot of memories from my childhood and teenager-hood that I have analyzed. Those years still feel very recent, and those memories are still fresh. Looking back, I have been able to learn a lot from them for what I want for my own children. Especially as I see so much of myself in them at times. 

Being a weird child, I never fit in well with my same age peers. My best friend for the first part of my childhood was almost two years older than me (thank you, Kim, for accepting me even though I was younger!) I found myself drawn to adults for conversation and and social interaction. Sadly, most adults I encountered were not interested in being engaged by a child. Those rare adults that I encountered that did, I treasured. The lady who listened to my interest in becoming a horticulturist and developing a green rose (in elementary school) that showed me a collage level biology text and introduced me to the fun things I later found out were called "Punnett Squares." I remember you, Ma'am. The great uncle who let me enthusiastically show him my small coin collection, and then sent me some "Japanese Invasion Money" and told me the stories of his travels. Those encounters were treasures in my childhood. And because of that, now that I am an adult I strive to be that for every child I encounter who seems like they need that. Not every child does. But there are some who need to be listened to and treated seriously by an adult. I encourage everyone who reads this that when they find those children, those young people, to give them your full attention and some of your time. Because it is a gift to them that they will treasure all of their life.

I lived most of my life with my grandparents. My father's parents for ages 5-12 and then 14-18, and my mother's parents from 12-14. They did their best, and I am grateful for what they did. But they were not prepared to deal with gifted intensities and overexcitabilities. And questions. I don't know if I really asked that many questions, but boy did I get the impression from my grandmother that my burning questions were a complete nuisance and bother to her. Granted, this was in the days before Google. And I suppose it might have been embarrassing for her not to know the answers. But the attitude I perceived in her eventually made me shut down and stop asking. I didn't stop wanting to know. But neither was I taught how to find the answers to my questions. It was an extremely frustrating time for me. Coupled with going through puberty and some other factors and it was also one of my darkest times. Having my own children now, I am delighted when they come up with a question I don't know the answer to. We search and find out together. We follow rabbit trails, watch other suggested YouTube videos, we explore, and we learn. And even if the question is asked at an inconvenient time or has to be put off for a while, I try to never make them feel like they were wrong to ask. That their question is unwanted. If Early Bird wants me to "ask Google Translate" what the Spanish word for "room" is, then we do it. If Builder Boy wants to talk about and figure out how to make domino contraptions by watching videos, we do it. It may not always be the most interesting thing in the world to me, but it is for them; and I hope I never make them feel like such a bother for asking that they stop asking me.

In 4th grade at my elementary school, students were allowed to join band. The great thing about it was they took beginners who had never played before and taught them. Looking back, I'm really unclear how that was feasible. I just know that's how it worked. I wanted to play flute. I REALLY wanted to play flute. I told my grandmother I wanted to play flute. I got a clarinet. Because "everyone else" plays flutes and I should do something different. And my great aunt was able to hand me down a clarinet. So I played the clarinet. And I would look at the flutists longingly, but never said another word about it. Until I moved in the middle of 6th grade to live with my mother's parents. At that school, band did not start until 6th grade, but everyone was required to play. So I was stuck in a classroom filled with beginners who didn't even want to be there. A room full of clarinets and only one flute player. I was able to rent a flute from the school district and taught myself to play and caught up with the class in time to play in the end of year concert. I loved it and as long as I was playing flute, I didn't touch the clarinet. But the school year ended, the flute went away. I moved on to a private school, now out of practice with my clarinet, and haven't played either instrument since. My clarinet was given away to another cousin by my great aunt who was annoyed that I was no longer using it. I shared that to say: please respect your child's passion choices. Don't substitute. This was not the only time a passion I had was taken away and was given something else and expected to just accept that. I'm not trying to say you should give your child everything they want. Most people can't afford that, and if you're open about that it would help a lot. But don't give them something else and expect them to be excited about it. Like ending figure skating lessons and expecting a bicycle to be an adequate replacement. (Okay, clearly I'm still a bit bitter about that one. The reason I was given was that they didn't like taking the time to take me to my once a week lesson.)

I think one of the most frustrating things for me growing up was that the strong emotions and frustrations I dealt with felt dismissed and ignored by my grandparents. Which just made me even more frustrated. I had an incident recently with Early Bird when I was impatient and frustrated myself and demanded a quick, yes or no answer. He didn't say anything so I made a decision. He was very upset because he was still thinking about it and hadn't gotten to reply yet (even though he eventually decided to go with the option I had chosen.) I'll never forget the picture of him, tears streaming down his face, saying "you didn't understand me!" Man that hit home. I scooped him up in my arms and I told him that I was very sorry for not understanding. I did explain that I could not read his mind and see that he had been thinking, and that him asking for a minute to think next time would be helpful. But I completely did understand that frustration and I validated it. Even though my children's emotions are sometimes fleeting, or illogical, or situationally inappropriate, those feelings are very much real and important to them at the time they are feeling them. And while those emotions might fade, they are going to remember how I treated those feelings, and how my treatment of them made them feel. A few months ago I read an article (wish I could find it again!) written to therapists/counselors on how to work with gifted patients and their overexcitabilities. One of their pieces of advice was to validate their patient's feelings; even/especially the emotional overexcitability ones. I didn't get that for myself; I am trying most definitely to do that for my children.

I consider the feelings and thoughts I had as a child to be valid and something I can learn from. I consider my children's feelings and thoughts to be valid. That viewpoint and those memories have helped me empathize with my children and, I think, have diffused some situations faster than they might have had I not empathized.

I love hearing about other people's childhood experiences and thinking about how I can learn from them. (I was a weird child; I guess I never grew out of being weird.) If you would like to share what you've learned from your own childhood, I would love to hear it! Please feel free to comment.

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This is my contribution for the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2014. I had a wonderful time reading the contributions last year and the year before, and I'm looking forward to this year's.

Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour 2014!

Welcome to the 2014 Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour!
Parenting a gifted child can sometimes be as challenging as it is rewarding. That’s why for the third year in row, parents from The Well Trained Mind Message boards have created a blog tour to share wisdom, joy, tribulations and advice.
Starting Sunday, June 22nd the Parenting the Gifted Blog Tour will discuss some of the most pertinent issues facing gifted education today:
On June 22nd Sceleratus Classical Academy will kick off our tour with “How a Gifted Childhood Prepared Me for Gifted Parenting”.
On June 23d At Home in the North Woods will share “Great Expectations, four ideas for dealing with perfectionism.”
On June 24th Homeschooling: or Who’s Ever Home will write about “Following the Passions of the Gifted Child.”
On June 25th Teaching My Baby to Read will feature a guest post.
On June 26th Homeschooling Hatters will discuss “Twice Exceptionality, when just one exception isn’t enough!”
On June 27th Teaching My Baby to Read will write about “Intensity Fades but doesn’t Forget.”
A difficult thing to understand about children with high IQs is that just because they are gifted, it doesn’t mean they are easy to teach or parent. In fact, often times the opposite is true.

This blog tour is written by people who understand what you’re going through. We are sending encouragement your way! So the next time you wake up at 3 AM worrying about your child, at least you’ll know that you aren’t alone.
Thanks for being with us on this journey!

The Search for Friends

Before we moved, I had one friend who had a girl Builder Boy's age, and another daughter ten months younger than Early Bird. We went to a very small, older church that for the last year before we moved had no other children. We attended Bible Study Fellowship once a week and Builder Boy did AWANAs once a week. That was almost the full extent of their experience with other children. They never mentioned making friends in either of their activities. They were (and still are) each other's best friends. My friend's older daughter started public school in kindergarten, so our time with her became very limited during the school year.

After we moved, we did not know anyone. We now belong to a huge church that is easy to get lost in, and hard to connect with people. The boys each have their own Sunday School classes; but the classes are so large that they tend to get lost in the crowd. We started AWANAs again this fall, but still no friends made.

Early Bird started bemoaning our lack of friends, and kept mentioning how sad that made him. I asked him what about the kids in Sunday School? Nope; they don't count. So I asked him what "friends" do, and he defined "friends" as people who came to our house and played. After we joined a weekly small group from church, where we go to someone else's house every week, he has been perfectly content.

If your child is expressing a need for friends, defining terms and expectations can be very helpful.

At first, I really hoped that the small group weekly get together would produce friends for Builder Boy. There were two boys close to his age and I had high hopes. But as time went on it became clear that Builder Boy did not fit in with those boys; and one in particular did not want to include Builder Boy.

On one hand, I can understand. Builder Boy is still working on his speech; if you're not used to listening to him, he can sometimes be difficult to understand. He likes things a certain way and when things do not happen that way, he can get upset. Which, thanks to emotional over-excitabilites, is more emotionally expressive than other kids would expect. Builder Boy also has different interests than other kids his age, and has not been exposed to most of the pop culture that the other kids have.

On the other hand, I had very few friends as a child; in some grades none at all. I am very sensitive to my child being purposely excluded. (Which he is thankfully so far oblivious to.)

I had a good talk with the mother of the other little boy, and

I realized that I needed to adjust my expectations. 

It was unfair of me to expect that group to provide everything for my kids, friend wise. Even though it would have been nice. And talking to Builder Boy I realized, he has different needs than the ones I have been trying to fill. For Builder Boy, everyone (unless they are out right mean to him) is his friend. So he thinks he has a ton of friends. He doesn't really have much of a desire for much else at this time. (Which is not unusual for a seven year old boy.)

Determine your child's actual needs.

 

And lastly, diversify.

This applies to both where you are looking for friends, and what your idea of a friend is. Builder Boy does much better with kids much younger or older than him. Okay, I need to stop obsessing about him having a best friend his own age. Now that it's almost summer and our out-of-home activities are over for the "school" year, we have more free time for playdates. Early Bird's "bestest buddy EVER" from our church is from a homeschooling family with older boys that are very sweet about playing with the several years younger Builder Boy. And it's working out GREAT! Their mom, who I have talked to about having difficulty finding friends, has suggested that he's more likely to have stuff in common with homeschooling kids than with public school kids. (Not trying to be a homeschooling snob. That's just been her experience.) So, gulp! we're going to join their learning club in the fall. We're also looking at Boy Scouts or 4-H clubs in the area, though that's probably going to be put off until next year. One new thing at a time! We will probably have a better chance finding friends where we know they will share at least one interest.

Builder Boy came out of his Sunday School class all excited last week because he finally had a friend! It was girl. Not that I have a problem with him making friends with a girl; I was just hoping he could hang out with a boy, too. But he's very excited and he made her a card to invite her to our home to play. He noticed that her dress had rainbows on it, so he inferred she must like rainbows and made her this card:

Flowers, a rainbow, butterflies, and hearts. Not your typical boy card; but super sweet. He drew what thought she would like.

I don't have all the answers; and we still don't have scores of kids clamoring to be the boys' friends. But each is getting the needs they have at this time met; and that makes a happy mama.

So if you, too, are struggling to find friends for your homeschooled and/or gifted kids, here are my tips:

• Determine your child's actual needs.

• If your child is expressing a need for friends, define terms and expectations so you're on the same page.

• Adjust your expectations.

• Diversify.

This blog post was my contribution to the GHF Special Tips, Toys, Tricks, and Tools for Parenting and Educating Gifted/2E Blog Hop. For more great tips, toys, tricks, and tools, click here.

"Genius" vs. "Gifted"

Confession: I inwardly cringe when you call my child a "genius." I'm sure it's meant as a complement, but all I hear is "stop bragging about your kid."

Maybe it's because growing up, the word "genius" was thrown around as an insult by the other kids at school. Maybe it's because I know the only "real" geniuses are the top 2%, and it's statistically unlikely my child is one of those 2%. But whatever the reason, when someone casually applies it to one (or all) of my children, I withdraw; shut down. You might be saying "wow, your kids are so smart!" What I hear is "stop talking about your kids and making me feel bad about mine." And that very well may be all on me, hearing the wrong thing. My experience, and articles on blogs about how "everyone is gifted" and posts on forums about how someone doesn't believe three years olds can read because her four year old isn't so you must be lying. Because I know all too well that comparison is a thief of joy, I am extra sensitive to not wanting to put other parents in the position where they feel bad about their own child. So most of the time, I don't say anything. Within groups of moms talking and sharing, I smile and nod and keep it zipped. I tired reaching out when I freaked out about my not yet three year old starting to read; I did not get a good reaction from the mom group I asked for help from. So I'm gun shy now about saying anything. Even on my private facebook, with just family and friends, I hold back. I only share the occasional funny thing they say; nothing about academic achievements. Lady Bug is just a baby; not even an advanced one that I can see. But I shared something she did and someone said "don't be surprised she's a genius, just like her brothers." I know, I know, it was meant as a compliment. But please, world, stop throwing the word "genius" around. Genius is a word used to identify 2% of the population. My kids are not geniuses. My kids (at least, my boys are; not sure about the baby girl yet) are "gifted."

Just as "genius" identifies 2% of the population, "gifted" identifies people (adults as well as children) who's brains work differently from most of the population. There are intellectual advantages, as well as some disadvantages to being gifted.  Gifted describes a difference in brain wiring, just like ADD or autism. But some (unfortunately very vocal) people tend to take issue with the term "gifted" unlike ADD or autism. Because, they reason, if only some people are gifted, then they don't have "gifts." (I'm not going to link to the latest blog post gone viral on this. She's not going to get even more traffic from me.) Nope, not how that works. Most people have at least one special talent or ability or personality trait that is a gift to themselves and to others. That is not what the word "gifted" means in this context. And sadly, despite plenty of information out on the internet, people still refuse to accept this. Some refuse, despite evidence to the contrary, that people like this even exist. It's all bragging and lies. Others think that gifted people aren't that different, so they don't need a label; especially one that marginalizes their children. The problem with that is gifted kids, who learn differently from the average student, can struggle just as much as a child with a learning disability. Not to mention the 2E kids who are both gifted and have a learning disability! Just because gifted kids are "smart" doesn't mean they'll do well enough in school. Gifted kids need special education, just like the "special education" kids. And as long as we keep denying them the label, the funding for special education for gifted kids is going to keep being one of the first things cut in the school budget.

Okay, I may have gone a bit off topic there. My point is, gifted people are real; they exist. They are measurably different in such a way that demands a label. "Gifted" is that label. Please stop trying to take that away from them. Just like the label "ADD" doesn't diminish those who don't have it, "gifted" doesn't take away from you either. But if you try to take it away from them, it takes away a lot.

And please don't throw "genius" around, either.

This blog is part of the Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page inaugural Blog Hop on The “G” Word (“Gifted”).  To read more blogs in this hop, visit this Blog Hop at www.hoagiesgifted.org/blog_hop_the_g_word.htm

Happy Birthday, Early Bird!: A look back

A few weeks ago, Early Bird turned five years old.

Gosh, I love this kid! He's crazy and imaginative and sweet and loving and flat out ridiculous at times.

1 month old/ -1 month corrected age

He was my first preemie, and I learned a lot from that experience. He's doing so well health wise. I'm so grateful because I know a lot of kids born at 32 weeks end up with lasting issues.

He's also my early learner; my early reader. Two years ago I was freaking out over my not-yet-3-year-old learning to read. It took me a while to get over the shock and then the consuming worry that I was going to somehow screw this up. It's hard to believe that two years have passed. It's been easy and hard all at the same time. Once again, we're blessed because unlike many gifted kids, Early Bird has not manifested any of the often accompanying issues and difficulties. At times I've struggled with treating him like his age rather than his reading level. But the older he has gotten, the less this has been an issue. Having an older brother to emulate, he is maturing faster than Builder Boy did. Which makes me a little sad. He was little for so little time and then BAM! reading and all sorts of other developmental intellectual advancements that just made him seem so much older than he actually was.

I recently guest posted on Dusty's blog, To the Moon and Back on how we adapted curricula for an early learner. Except for math and handwriting, Early Bird is doing everything Builder Boy is doing school-wise. Which means he started 2nd grade work when he was 4 1/2, but we're calling it kindergarten.

And my fears? Well, he's learning whether I'm teaching or not. I learned that during my pregnancy with Lady Bug. He's picked up a few things incorrectly, like the pronunciation of "jalapeno," but we're correcting it without too much hassle. His reading grew in leaps and bounds beyond what we've done in our reading curriculum, but I'm still going over every single lesson so that there are no gaps. We've found one or two gaps, so I'm glad we are doing that. And thankfully he doesn't mind that the lesson is super easy and takes very little time, since it's so far behind him. While at times I think I should be stretching him more, I'm happy with his progress.

Happy Birthday, big boy. :)

Guest Post from Homeschooling Hatters

And now for something completely different!

Okay, so not really.  It's only one difference, but sometimes it seems like a span of oceans.

For those who don't know me, I'm Care, the mama behind the sporadically-updated Homeschooling Hatters.  We really are all mad 'round here.  Anyhow, I'm Care, my husband is The Great Skeeve, and our son is Mad Natter.  Mad Natter is situated right between Mrs Warde's Early Bird and Builder Boy – about a half year or so older than Early Bird.  Mrs Warde has saved my sanity more times than I can count, as our boys keep reaching higher, and we're standing back gaping at them.

The thing that makes Mad Natter so very different from Early Bird, though, is that while both boys are leaps and bounds ahead of their age-peers in most respects, Mad Natter has Sensory Processing Disorder, along with a potential for additional letters that we haven't been able to assess yet.  What SPD means in our house, is that Mad Natter has some very extensive troubles with some of his Executive Function skills – namely things like planning and future thinking, as well as some issues with focus and impulse control, as well as a lot of excess energy.  It used to be that our days were fairly short, but extremely frustrating all around.

We would start our school days with Magic School Bus science, giving us some time to get in gear before we started our sitting down work.  Then we'd work on our subjects, one after the other, have a break, finish up, and play away the rest of the day.  When you're five, this seems like a pretty good plan, all in.  But, when you're five with sensory issues, that easy day turns sour very quickly.  First, there's a meltdown over which episode of Magic School Bus to watch.  The one we need to for our science work, or the random one we watched twelve times yesterday?  I think we can tell which of us wanted which video.  Once the video was watched, we'd move on to math.  You'd think math would be easy, as we were working on things with manipulatives – fun stuff!  Nope.  The manipulatives became cars, and a ten minute lesson would take an hour in redirection. Writing?  You can forget it. The shouting back and forth quickly hit legendary. The rest of our subjects quickly hit a boiling point as well.  He was frustrated with me, I was unhappy with him, and our days went poorly.  We didn't like each other very much – which is really sad!

Recently, though, we've gotten some long awaited sensory interventions.  All of a sudden, our days have done a complete 180*, and I couldn't be happier about it!  First, we've nixed the battle over Magic School Bus.  How? We watch two episodes.  A simple solution that neither of us saw at the time.  Then we have sensory brushing.  Now for those unfamiliar with sensory brushing, it means we take a Sensory Brush, and rub Mad Natter's arms, legs, and back with it.  This helps him calm his nervous system, allowing him more control over his own reactions, as well as helping with his need for motion.  Mad Natter needs to MOVE.  All the time. He runs, and runs, and runs, and runs, lap after lap around the house, and doesn't stop.  Brushing helps him get his senses reset so that need to run all the time is quelled, and he is able to sit calmly on his bumpy cushion and work.

Once we have our brushing done, we work on math. We're extremely informal about it.  This past week, Mad Natter has sat on my lap, and I wrote what he dictated onto the page.  No fighting, and suddenly the math that was taking us an hour... was back to taking us ten minutes.  After math, because it involves a lot of mental focus, we have a break.  I quickly check my email and the physical mail, and Mad Natter runs up to his room to jump on his trampoline.  Once he's had a good minute or two of purely physical exertion, he comes back down and we work on grammar and writing.  Now, these are boring subjects for an active little boy so once they're done, we take another break.  This time, it's a bathroom and snack break.  Then, once those are done, Mad Natter hops around the house in the same circuit he used to run.  First on one foot, then the other.  Truthfully, this usually ends up as more of a gallop than a hop, but the effect is the same – he gets to move and get his wiggles out.  Then we do some work on science projects and reading, and finally we work on spelling.  Spelling in and of itself is a much loved subject, especially now that I have a great board that's mounted on the wall!  It means he can stand and balance on his cushion while he spells, giving him the ability to keep on moving, and still keep his focus.  It's been a wonderful thing.

Now, by this point, it seems like our days are taking forever instead of just the hour and a half I plan for.  Truthfully, this isn't the case at all. Even adding in the time for all the jumping, bouncing, running off, and hopping around, schoolwork now takes less time than it did before. There's less fighting, less yelling, and a lot more work getting done, and while our days take two hours now instead of one and a half, they are so much more peaceful that it carries over into the rest of the day as well.

We've also implemented a partial workbox system.  I picked up a ten-drawer cart which we are now using to hold subjects.  Each subject is in a drawer, and we work systematically through the drawers until we reach the end.  There is more to workboxing than just this, but we're still working with our OT to get our full visual scheduling implemented.  Once we get our cards in from the OT, we'll put cards on each box, as well as number cards.  That way Mad Natter can see what subject is next (math, science, etc), as well as what number of subjects he has to work on that day.  We will also be able to visually schedule our breaks, so he can see when his next break is, what he will do for it, and if he wants to do something different, we can work together to get the scheduling in hand.

However, even without all the pieces in place, our days are more and more manageable, easier to handle with each other, and just more fun.  Dealing with gifted children can be trying on the best of days. Gifted children whose bodies need more for some reason, who don't understand why their bodies need these things, or how to appropriately get these things...  That's trying with a side of Hang On Tight, This is Gonna Be a Doozy of a Ride! -- ~Care

Writing Isn't Just Writing

Experimenting with Magnets

Handwriting instruction is supposed to take no more than ten minutes. Most days it takes half an hour. Not because Builder Boy's fighting me. He's gotten over that for the most part. But because he's talking.

I've written before about a theological discussion sparked by a handwriting prompt. What I didn't know then was that sort of a thing was going to be a common occurrence. And it's been frustrating me because I keep thinking this is only supposed to take ten minutes!

But this morning I finally realized: this isn't just copying letters like a drone. This is supposed to prepare him for creative writing. And that's what he's doing: being creative. If I'm constantly shutting down his creative thinking when he's writing, aren't I hampering his ability to connect the two? I don't want him to get the idea that when he's writing he needs to shut down his brain.

Like yesterday. Builder Boy likes to fiddle and play with things when he's supposed to be listening to the story. But as long as he can answer the questions about the reading, I let him. Yesterday's fiddlings with the new white board's magnets turned into an impromptu experiment with magnets, seeing which items found on the table blocked the magnetism and which didn't, and talking about how electromagnets turn a motor. I ended up having to re-read the passage. But you know what? I'm not going to stress about it. Isn't this one of the advantages of homeschooling over public school? Setting our own schedule instead of being a slave to the clock. Going off on rabbit trails and not killing the love of learning.

I'm going to accept that handwriting is going to take thirty minutes instead of ten most days. When it is just ten I'll be pleasantly surprised. That's part of teaching a child with an enthusiasm for learning that hasn't be squashed by constantly hearing "we don't have time for that now."

Homeschooling an Early Learner

Early Bird makes me really glad we homeschool. I enjoyed homeschooling even when it was just with Builder Boy. But I could never put Early Bird in a regular brick and mortar school. I have read too many personal stories of people who tired to work with a gifted child in the pubic school system and had a miserable time of it. And honestly, grade acceleration isn't what young, early learners need when their output levels don't match their input needs. Early Bird finished kindergarten level reading on his 3rd birthday, but a year and a half later still can't write. He can read at a 2nd/3rd grade level, but isn't ready for a whole chapter book. He's working at a 1st grade level in math, but still needs kindergarten manipulatives. And science he's....I'm not sure what grade level, but he's learning everything Builder Boy (2nd grade) is learning, but can't do the writing and worksheets and such that Builder Boy does. He's 4 and half years old. So we're homeschooling, and we'll probably be homeschooling until the kids are through high school.

Early Bird's first word read at age 2 years, 10 months

Concerning finding the perfect reading curriculum for a 2 year old who is learning to read: there isn't one. I looked for one, I asked around, such a thing does not exist. And waiting until your child is old enough for the curriculum that do exist is not an option when your child is begging to learn. After you're done freaking out about this development, teach them. They've already started learning, keep doing what you did that got them there. Teaching My Baby to Read has a lot of really wonderful ideas for using with young children that are inexpensive and DIY. Her blog is where I found out about the LeapFrog Word Builder that I bought for Early Bird when he had learned his letter names and sounds at age 2.5.

One of the best pieces of advice for teaching reading I learned from The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer: don't tie reading to writing. Some kids are ready to read long before they are ready to write. But if you tie the two together it can frustrate the early learner. I extended that to all learning for Early Bird. I'm not keeping him from learning something just because he can't do any accompanying worksheet or assignment. We do everything verbally and will continue to do so until he is ready to write. This makes doing 2nd grade history and science possible with an interested 4 year old.

When you do find a curriculum that you like remember: you are not a slave to the curriculum.You do not have to teach everything in that one curriculum, you can leave parts out that don't work for you. Needing to leave out a writing assignment or something else does not mean that it's necessarily the wrong program for you when you're using it with an early learner.

Reviewing 2nd grade words at 4 years, 7 months old

Concerning gap fears: you're probably going to have them. Both the fears, and the gaps. When a child is galloping ahead in interest and ability, some things do get left in the dust. Sometimes you don't find the gaps until an embarrassing time. Sometimes you figure them out. My favorite way to find gaps in the mos gaps areas is to occasionally do a grade level (of your child's age) general skills workbook that you can get at Walmart or the dollar store or Amazon.com. If they can do one of those with no problem, then you're probably okay.

We are working through our reading curriculum as review even though Early Bird is reading at a high level than the lessons for the express reason of covering any gaps he may have missed. He loves doing this, so it does not frustrate him. This will not hold true for all early learners.

Mostly know that gaps happen with all children and they are nothing to be feared. Once discovered, and you will discover them eventually, children can learn what they need to fill it.

Concerning tests and finding your child's level: for the early stages you can use this blog post to figure out your early reader's reading level. I have also written about other reading assessment options, and I am continuing to look into other option.

I truly understand the desire to test your early learner and validate what you suspect about your child. Before you spend a lot of money having your kid tested, think about your reasons for testing. The Accelerated Learner Board on the The Well Trained Mind Forum has a lot of posts about testing, reasons for testing, and advice from homeschooling parents who have done it. Above all remember that comparison is the thief of joy.

Lastly, you can do it, and they can help. Homeschooling a gifted child can be both easier and much harder than homeschooling a neuro-typical child. Involve your child in curriculum choices and explore the rabbit trails. Let them develop a passion and go as far as they can with it. Try to remember to treat them like their age instead of their age level. And with the really little early learners remember that there is still plenty of time to get to everything.

This post is part of a Gifted Homeschoolers Forum Blog Hop

Check out some of the other contributions in the hop:

5 Things You Need to Know Before Homeschooling a Gifted/2E Kid – RedWhiteandGrew.com
A Cattle Prod or a Magic Wand? – A 2e Fox Revived
A Dyscalculia Story and Aggressive Acceptance – Chasing Hollyfeld
Acronyms R Us – Buffalo Mama
Before You Teach, Erase Your Memories – Wenda Sheard, J.D. Ph.D. Thoughts on Life & Learning
Homeschooling an Early Learner – Sceleratus Classical Academy
Homeschooling and the Situational 2E – Crushing Tall Poppies
Homeschooling Gifted Learners – Eclectic Homeschooling
Homeschooling My Gifted Children (Newly updated!) – Corin Barsily Goodwin, GHF
Homeschooling my gifted/2e son for one month so far – San Antonio Charter Moms
Homeschooling Your Gifted Child – Modern Homeschooling
Nine things I love about homeschooling my 2e son…and four things I despise. – Laughing at Chaos
What Anxiety Looks Like – Quarks and Quirks