When Gifted Overexcitiblities and an Introverted Personality Collide

Perhaps you've seen this meme before? It's a great visual representation of what it's like to have intellectual overexcitabilities. ALL things are interesting, all activities should be tried. (Except dentistry stuff; that stuff's gross and icky.)


I've been reading about the over-scheduling of the average American child, and I rejoiced that that was not our family. We were a one vehicle family with a very tight budget and no local homeschoolers could be found in the area. Then we moved, I recovered most of my health from my pregnancy with Lady Bug, Principal Daddy got a raise, and we got a second vehicle. Understanding that over-scheduling was not in my children's best interests, I still kept our out-of-the-house activities manageable. Until overexcitiblities struck and "Ooooo! That looks perfect for my kids, they would get so much out of it!" Suddenly we're out of the house 4 out of 5 school days, and another on the weekend for church. Because gymnastics are exactly what ninja-wannabe Early Bird needs so that maybe he'll stop climbing the walls, and what perfectionism-anxiety Builder Boy needs. Because AWANAS is awesome and we can't quit now because Early Bird just started Sparkies and he memorized the whole first book of verses this summer listening to Builder Boy's old CD every single day. Because we need co-op and church small group for socialization and making friends, and speech therapy is essential, and book club isn't so bad it's only once a month, etc.

Have I ever mentioned I'm an introvert? I am drowning, stressed out, and our school work is suffering from a teacher who can't seem to find the proper equilibrium. Friday evening comes and I am so exhausted and sick of people that I just want to crawl into a dark closet and not come out for an hour. Or a weekend. But Friday night is when our church small group moved their meeting night to. Which I told them was perfectly fine several months ago, before ALL THE THINGS piled up and before school had gone full schedule again. Something is going to have to give; some things are going to have to be dropped. Speech therapy can't and shouldn't be dropped, and I made a commitment to the co-op that I'm not willing to leave high and dry. I had originally thought that we would do gymnastics only for the two months the boys could both be in the same class (it's a 5-7 class.) But now that we've done several lessons, and I've seen Early Bird make amazing progress and seen him practice every day on his on initiative, I don't know how I can stop it for him. And Builder Boy worked through a fear after crying and kept trying. It was such a big success for him; he needs that practice. And I have reasons and excuses for not dropping everything else, too. But I can't keep going on like this, and if I keep doing all these extra things in the name of my children, my children's education is going to suffer.

I wrote all that out for this blog hop on gifted self-care because I thought that knowing the danger of over-scheduling, I would be able to prevent myself from doing it. And then gifted overexcitiblities kicked in, and I lost sight of that. I thought I was smart enough to learn from the mistakes of others; but I still fell into the trap, blinded by my enthusiasm and wanting the best for my kids. But the best for them does not include a mother who is too tired by doing the extra things to do the most important things. And I suspect I may not be the only introvert out there who is sacrificing their best well being for the sake of activities for their children.

UPDATE: Since writing this (yes, I actually wrote something ahead of time!) we have dropped the library book club and the Friday evening church group get-togethers. Builder Boy's speech therapy was also switched to Wednesdays for two weeks which freed up my Fridays and helped so much! We have to go back to Fridays, but letting a few things go has really been a weight off my shoulders. And both the women who head up the things I left were completely supportive of my decision, understanding the problems with over scheduling themselves and the need for me to take care of me, too, as well as my kids. So don't let the fear of letting others down or disappointing people keep you from being the best parent you can be for your kids.





One more edit: I participated in another self-care blog hop last year and had a much different answer last year. It was also put out by a different group, so there are other bloggers answering the same problem. Check it out!

Pin It