Being a mother to a daughter is more different for me from being a mother to sons than I thought it would be.
When I found out with my first pregnancy I was carrying a boy I wondered, "What do I do with a boy?" I thought, having been a girl, I would have no problems with raising a girl; that I would know what to do. But raising a boy was a foreign concept to me.
But now that I have a daughter, some emotions and memories have been coming to my mind frequently. Unhappy memories; upsetting feelings. Feelings that I do not want to be connected in my mind with my sweet baby girl.
I am writing things out in an attempt to process and heal in a healthy way. I am going to be sharing part of it as a series on my blog because I am hoping that it might help someone else to read it.
I will only be posting the series on the weekend, and they will be clearly marked with trigger warnings for those who would be upset by it. I do not intend for this series to interfere with or replace my homeschooling posts. But as this is affecting my parenting, I think it applies.
I will be trying to be a bit vague because this is not just my story. There are a lot of other people who have been hurt by events in the past that are affecting me now. I do not wish to tell their story, only mine, and how it is affecting me.
For those of you who pray, I would appreciate your prayers as I work through this. I am also seeking professional help.
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